My Nose

by Carolyn

Except for having a breathing function, a nose doesn't mean much to people. But to me, it means a whole lot more.

I always think that the most basic feature that a girl should at least have is being petite. That means, as a girl, it is my duty to look as pretty, fair, small, thin, tame and fragile as a doll.

Unfortunately, I'm not that kind of girl.

Since I was still a child, I had grown taller than any other child of my age. And because of my height, my limbs seemed larger than theirs, and I didn't know where to put them precisely. And when it was necessary to take a picture and I had to be put in line together with my classmates, it seemed so odd that I looked like their mother or elder, instead of their peer. I was not only big, tall and clumsy but also somehow dark-skinned, which is not what a girl, in my opinion, should look like. Unsatisfied with my appearance, I felt ashamed of having such a large stature.

But my nose gave me the strength to carry on.

The first time I paid attention to my nose was because some people said to me that I had a small and cute nose. (To some extent, "small and cute" satisfied my nose, not my whole body.) I was delighted at that time, thinking that at last there was one part of my body that was feminine. I took a long look at my nose. Disappointingly, it was not straight enough, not long enough, and not outstanding enough. Besides, when I looked straight at it in the mirror, the nostrils seemed half-hidden. None of these corresponded with those qualifications of a beautiful nose. But it is this non-perfect quality--small and cute--that makes it the most striking feature on my body. In addition to this, it is a little upright on the tip of the nose, by which it conveys a sense of pride in itself. Surely, it is small and cute. And in comparison with the other parts of my body, such a pleasing nose brings me more attention. Therefore, when I hear others praising this small and cute nose, exciting emotions spread over my smiling and contented face.

I do admit that I was not satisfied with my stature before, but the nose lifted me from my despondence. I feel fulfilled that I have a girl-like nose, and care less about other features afterwards. Most important of all, I have emerged from the shadow brought on by the shame of my masculine look and regained my self-confidence.

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