Sands

by Brenda

Stroking my hands, feeling the sensation of the skin and the fingers. They are smooth and glossy but short and coarse. They have accompanied me for almost twenty years, closely connected to my affectional life. They are the bridge that conveys my feelings to the outside world and to myself.

When I was eighteen years old, I was still sucking on my thumb. Yes, I was. Whatever I was doing, I would put my thumb into my mouth very naturally, just as if it was part of my reflex action. There were no reasonable explanations for this action. But as soon as my thumb was in my mouth, a sense of warmth came over my body. The tongue and the lips held the whole thumb and there was saliva all around. It seemed that the lips liked to suck most, and the tongue liked to taste most. Warmth, sweetness and softness came to both the mouth and the thumb, and their master, me, received a sense of safety and fulfillment from them.

However, at some forgotten moment, I began to make a stranger of my hands. Perhaps it had something to do with their appearance. You see, with the thumb in my mouth and my eyes closed to the outside world, I'd rarely have much chance noticing the looks of my hands. Compared to others, my fingers are shorter and coarser. And it became a shame for me to show my hands to others at that time. It was not suitable for them to be seen in public. At the same time, my confidence was quickly descending.

It was my boyfriend who made my hands worthy again. He always holds my hands tightly and conveys the warmth of his love. Besides, he is a naughty boy; he likes to stroke the center of my palm. And, the sweet behavior makes my hands come alive. They become more sensitive and beautiful than ever. First, they learned the same skill from the naughty boy and enjoy writing three important words ("I love you ") in his palm. In addition, their temperature gets higher and higher gradually because of my lover's hands. And the most important is that using these hands to hold my boyfriend's hand is a sign of self-determination for me. I'm no longer the one who could only be held by my boyfriend's arm; I can be the active party in our relationship, too.

Looking at my hands with love, I thank them for what they have done for me. And they will be my favorite friends forever. I believe that they will become more and more beautiful under my delicate care, in spite of the short and coarse fingers.

回上頁