A Terrible Yet Helpful Experience 

Grace

 I will never forget that terrible experience which occurred in my adolescence…

 When I was in the third year of junior high school, I got the chance of attending the entrance exam of Taichung Girl』s Senior High School.  Not only did my parents and teachers expect much of me, but I also demanded much of myself.  Therefore, under this kind of heavy pressure, I studied so hard that I stayed up late every day during that period.  While being quite confident of my good performance in schoolwork, I thought that I would pass the exam undoubtedly.   

 Nevertheless, to everyone』s surprise, I failed the exam…

「I failed the exam!  Why?  How could I have failed it?  I can』t believe that!  There must be something wrong with the grades!」  Failing to accept this cruel truth, I became very anxious and began to complain about everything around me.  What』s worse, I felt extremely ashamed because most of my classmates passed the exam, even including some whose grades were worse than mine in class.  「Oh!  How awful and stupid I was!  I was truly the most useless person in the world!」  Every moment I kept on crying and wanted to do nothing.  There was no one who could really console my mind!  The comfort given by others just looked like sarcasm and sympathy in my eyes; it made me feel more miserable instead. 

I remember vividly that it was at this point my mother told me, 「What are you crying for?  You had better go to professional school, you can then study without any pressure.」  I was deeply shocked and hurt by what she said; maybe she just wanna relax my emotion, but how can she say that?  How can she negate my ability merely because of my failing an exam?  Is the most important value of my existence simply 「perfect performance in schoolwork」?  Why does my future have to be chosen by her?  Why does the person I like most but injures me most?    

Suddenly the thought of committing suicide appeared in my mind.   Everything seemed so meaningless to me that I didn』t want to live any longer… 

Fortunately, it was my favorite teacher that gave me a hand in time.  She encouraged and comforted me with her heart, 「Cheer up!  It was just an extra opportunity for you to enter a higher school, and you still had other choices to continue your studies.  How could you give up so rashly?  I believed that you will succeed sooner or latter.」  I was deeply moved by her words and realized all the things suddenly!  「How could I be so foolish?  It was only an exam!  It didn』t mean anything!  I shouldn』t lose my life for this trivial reason.」  After straightening out my thinking, I gradually regained the courage of living and self-confidence.  I studied hard again to prepare for the JCEE.  And this time I really made it; I was accepted by Taichung Girl』s Senior High School finally!

Although this was the most horrible difficulty that I had ever met, it actually had a great influence on me.  It not only made me more courageous when handling problems, but also changed my philosophy; I never take my studies too seriously and have become more optimistic about life.  If there were not such kind of difficulties at that time, I wouldn』t be what I am now.