Jeymie

My Option

Last year, my life had unpredictable twists and turns, of which it took me great efforts to work out the first-ever vital option.  Three prestigious universities in Taiwan, National Central University (NCU), National Chi-Nan University (NCNU), and National Chiao Tung University (NCTU); they had become the sources of great anxiety.  Each of them has their merits and shortcomings.  For instance, judging from the reputation of English Departments in Taiwan, NCU prevails over the two others and took the second place among national universities according to a poll conducted by a magazine of integrity in 1998.  In the respect of my ability, NCNU seemed the most fitting one.  It was younger school though; its public praise could hopefully be promoted.  But it is located in a pretty isolated place.  On the other hand, because I live near Hsinchu, NCTU became preferred when the three schools』 locations were taken into consideration.  Apart from that, NCTU is widely known for developing scientific intellectuals and is reputedly comparable to Stanford or the MIT.  Although NCTU』s strenths had nothing to do with academic achievements in literature, somehow I still favor. 

I was an applicant at the above three schools last year.  After the interview, I had to wait until the result was finally announced, so that my destiny would decide whether I was to go in for the JCEE in July.  It is a rule here in Taiwan that one is not qualified to take the JCEE if he/she has been recognized through the application process, unless he/she gives up the admission.  A long wait had passed by, at the end of March; I was only informed of being accepted by NCNU.  For NCU, I was the sixth standby.  That news depressed me because I considered NCTU the best choice, and then NCU the second, while NCNU took the last place.  It was really a struggle for me to decide whether to reply to NCNU affirmatively or to turn them down by giving up this qualification.  No one could assure me of a better outcome if I should choose to take the J.C.E.E; perhaps I might end up in a private university.  No one could tell.

During that period, I was struggling and I was contradicting myself.  In some way, I felt like giving up the qualification of NCNU and to let July become a huge month.  On the other hand, I still hoped there was a slight possibility for me to enter NCU, too.  But people around me all told me that I should stop thinking too much and not impose pressure on myself.  「NCNU is a not-bad university.  Since you』ve been accepted; then accept it.  End of the hesitation!」 so they said.  However, as everybody knows, it』s always hard for an indecisive person like me to rush to conclusions like where to go and what to eat, let alone a vital one that would affect my destiny such as to which university to go to. 

About one month later, I got a surprise notification from NCU. 「Congratulation, you are accepted by our department.  Please confirm with us by mail before April 27^{th. 「}   I almost fainted away because little did I think a sixth standby would have the luck to make it to NCU a reality.  My rapture was beyond description, but I faced a dilemma.  The deadline for the reply drove me to where I had to make a 「turning-point」 decision in two days.  My parents wanted me to re-consider the pros and cons between NCNU and NCU or keep on working for NCTU.  After consulting with my teachers, I deleted NCTU from the candidate list and put NCU in the first position, but I still had my own concerns.  I was afraid that if I entered the program of NCU I would be falling behind of classmates that are not stand-bys.  In my conception, a stand-by is the stereotype someone who』s short in one』s ability.  My mother worried about that, too, so she went to the temple and had my fortune told.  The fortuneteller indicated that it would be better that I study in the north of Hsinchu.  Besides, I myself very carefully considered his suggestion and also made my own evaluation: since I do not have much confidence in July』s exam, why not say yes to NCU?  It is still closer than NCNU, moreover, it shares more popularity and better reputation among all the other English departments.  That was the real end of my hesitation; therefore here I am. 

Before entering NCU, I was worried about my ability to catch up with others.  After becoming a student of the English Dept. here for a year, I realize that diligence can make up for deficiency.  By studying hard, I can still get good grades no matter where I am. And I came to know that making major choices by us is a life-long lesson, and it won』t be easy.  When I am in doubt now, I try to chase something in one way or another.  Either to evaluate situations of all kinds in every respect on my own or seek someone persuasive that can help find the key to sort the troublesome business out.  That』s what I』ve learned from making my significant decision last year.