Vallery

Independence

     I used to live a sheltered life.  My parents took good care of me in every way so that I couldn』t live without my parents.  After entering college, I left my hometown for Chung-li to study, my parents worried about me because they me couldn』t look after me as they had before.  In order to reassure them, I decided to learn independence to prove that I didn』t have to rely on my parents anymore.  Financial independence is the best way to show my independence.  Therefore, I hit the sidewalk.  I looked for all kinds of jobs, but there was no response.  「Maybe they don』t want to accept a girl who is inexperienced,」 I thought.  I was about to give up when the owner of a steakhouse asked me to work.  I was very happy that I could earn money by myself. 

But after working in the steakhouse I started to realize that it』s so hard to be a waitress.  I used to be the customer and I believed that all the waiters and waitresses had to do were take order and carry the dishes to the customers.  However, the reality was much crueler and everything was far from the impression they gave me.  I thought that they could wear formal clothes and they wouldn』t do the dishes.  In other words, I believed that being a waitress was a easy job.

     Not only did I carry the dishes for customers but I also washed the dishes and handled the leftover.  The older waiters even asked me to clean the restroom.  Even though I didn』t want to do it at all, I had to do it without any complaining.  What』s worse was that the cook was very rude, whenever they were unhappy or they saw someone make a mistake, they cursed.   I hated their behavior completely, however, in order to earn money, I bit my lips.  I thought that I could surely keep the job for a long period of time as long as I could put up with everything.

     One day, I cleared the dishes up as I usually did, when suddenly, all the dishes fell to the floor because I hadn』t held on to them tightly enough, and all the sauce, meat, and vegetables splashed on to my pants and my shoes.  I froze, and I felt that there was a kind of terrible silence in the air.  Everyone stared at me, some customers pointed at me and whispered to one another, and the customer sitting at the table I was clearing laughed at me on the spot and said,」 See, I told you not to take so many dishes at once.」  I was so embarrassed, I couldn』t speak a word, I just stood there blankly until a waiter walked up to me and said, 「Don』t worry.  Go clean your clothes and I』ll help you.」  「But the dishes…」I tried to squeeze out a complete sentence.  「That』s all right, I can help you.」  「Thank you,」 I whispered.  Then I rushed into the restroom and burst into tears.  I cried and put forth my strength to clean my pants and shoes at the same time.  「How can I face the customers and the boss?」  「What can I do?」  I hated my heavy hands and I wished that I could stay in the restroom forever and I wouldn』t have to face all the people blaming or laughing at me.   In the restroom, it occurred to me to think of quitting.  「As long as I quit the job, I won』t make any mistakes and I won』t have to tolerate the leftover, the cook』s cursing, and the customers, 「I said to myself.  I made up my mind immediately.  After work, I told the owner of the steakhouse that I would quit work thereafter.  He blamed me seriously.  He said, 「You are a milk-toast. (P.S. milk-toast means a coward)  I mistook you for a constant girl.  You disappoint me.  Now, you can leave.」  I was astonished because he perceived me as a chicken.  「A milk-toast, am I?  No, I am not.  I am NEVER a milk-toast.」  I answered immediately, 「I won』t leave here and I』ll prove that I am not a chicken-I am a tough girl.」

     I stayed there because of being wrongly treated.  But I wanted to prove my ability more.  So I worked harder and harder from then on.  After the incident, I cherished the job more and more, because this was a job that can show my potential ability and my inner endurance.  Sometimes I saw new waiters make the same mistake as I did; I comforted them and helped them as the waiter did to me.  I can understand their feelings, because they are like me when I first started.  I saw some people leaving and coming, and I know this is the reality.  Those who can do a good job can stay otherwise they will have to leave.  I am proud of myself because I learned independence.  No matter what frustrations I met, I managed to overcome these.  I became more careful on my job; I tried to tolerate the cook』s cursing, and tried to get along well with my coworkers.  The disgusting leftover was no longer a big deal for me.  I changed a lot because I am no longer the girl protected by my parents.  I am anything but a chicken now.