外國人都是... Foreigners Are Like That...
The first impression Americans give us is that they are easy to get along with and friendly to strangers. Complete strangers can say hi and start chatting when waiting in line. But that friendliness is no guarantee that they want to get to know you. In fact, most of it is probably more ceremonial interaction than anything else.
It is true that westerners are more open to making new contacts with people they do not know. When meeting a face they have seen several times, they at least would make eye contact, nod, smile, or say hi to show their good intentions. When waiting in line, people might start complaining together about what has taken the bus so long or chatting about what has just happened in the surroundings. They might see your shopping bag and ask you where the store is or tell you that she likes the shirt you’re wearing. For westerners, it doesn’t bite if they show their friendliness. Showing good intentions by giving a smile can ease the awkwardness in an elevator and delight others easily; chatting with a person next to you is also a good way to make a place more comfortable.
These friendly behaviors do not, however, always mean that they want to know you better. Beyond this habitual manner of politeness and initial passion, you might discover they are quite defensive about their private life and private matters. As you try to take up their time by making friends with them, you might feel them holding back and not treating you whole-heartedly. At this point, you might think that they have been pretending to treat you nice all the way but blocking you off when you try to approach them; while in fact, they are merely setting the boundary for the kind of social interaction that they are willing to engage in.
Taiwanese find it esp. hard to understand this combination of warmth and resistance. Because most Taiwanese hardly ever interact with strangers and don’t really know how to be friendly toward strangers without losing themselves in the relationship. Even if they live or work on the same floor and recognize each other’s face, if they have not been introduced officially, Taiwanese usually pretend not seeing one another. That explains the still and awkward atmosphere when unacquainted people take the same elevator; they don’t even dare to look up, or make a sound, or move their bodies--for fear they might accidentally make eye contact with another person or touch the person standing next to them.
As Taiwanese block off all interaction with strangers, it is little wonder they often misread westerners’ initial friendliness as an invitation for close friendship and feel somewhat hurt when they move forward to establish closer relationships. So next time if you meet up with a friendly westerner, if he starts a conversation, it doesn’t necessarily mean that he has special intentions or affections toward you. It might just be a habitual politeness. Overall, don’t make a fool out of yourself by over-reacting when a westerner says hello!
The first impression Americans give us is that they are easy to get along with and friendly to strangers. Complete strangers can say hi and start chatting when waiting in line. But that friendliness is no guarantee that they want to get to know you. In fact, most of it is probably more ceremonial interaction than anything else.
It is true that westerners are more open to making new contacts with people they do not know. When meeting a face they have seen several times, they at least would make eye contact, nod, smile, or say hi to show their good intentions. When waiting in line, people might start complaining together about what has taken the bus so long or chatting about what has just happened in the surroundings. They might see your shopping bag and ask you where the store is or tell you that she likes the shirt you’re wearing. For westerners, it doesn’t bite if they show their friendliness. Showing good intentions by giving a smile can ease the awkwardness in an elevator and delight others easily; chatting with a person next to you is also a good way to make a place more comfortable.
These friendly behaviors do not, however, always mean that they want to know you better. Beyond this habitual manner of politeness and initial passion, you might discover they are quite defensive about their private life and private matters. As you try to take up their time by making friends with them, you might feel them holding back and not treating you whole-heartedly. At this point, you might think that they have been pretending to treat you nice all the way but blocking you off when you try to approach them; while in fact, they are merely setting the boundary for the kind of social interaction that they are willing to engage in.
Taiwanese find it esp. hard to understand this combination of warmth and resistance. Because most Taiwanese hardly ever interact with strangers and don’t really know how to be friendly toward strangers without losing themselves in the relationship. Even if they live or work on the same floor and recognize each other’s face, if they have not been introduced officially, Taiwanese usually pretend not seeing one another. That explains the still and awkward atmosphere when unacquainted people take the same elevator; they don’t even dare to look up, or make a sound, or move their bodies--for fear they might accidentally make eye contact with another person or touch the person standing next to them.
As Taiwanese block off all interaction with strangers, it is little wonder they often misread westerners’ initial friendliness as an invitation for close friendship and feel somewhat hurt when they move forward to establish closer relationships. So next time if you meet up with a friendly westerner, if he starts a conversation, it doesn’t necessarily mean that he has special intentions or affections toward you. It might just be a habitual politeness. Overall, don’t make a fool out of yourself by over-reacting when a westerner says hello!