To excel has become a
dream for the masses in Taiwan. People, young and old, strive to get
ahead of everyone else. The schools classify the students into the
so-called good ones and the bad ones on the basis of mere school grades
and rankings. The upbringing of the young minds continually conditions
them into believing that life is a pursuit for excellence. 「And it is
worth a try」, as our national education pundits advocated. Little did
they know, however, that the over-emphasis on excellence have cost
numerous young minds the best years of their lives.
I
remember it well that back in my senior high years, I was fairly
conscious of the destiny of being a Taiwan senior high school student—to
enter an excellent college after graduation. It had been my dream to be
an English mayor since my first year in senior high, so I constantly
joined similar competitions to better myself in English ability. In my
naivete, I thought my performance at these contests would bring me a big
success in the future—as an English major in an excellent
college.
My
appetite toward learning English was pretty good. Three hours of
studying English a day was common and four hours not rare. Even when
there were many tests scheduled for the next day, I』d never shortchange
my devotion to studying English. Indeed, I would rather sacrifice all
other school subjects and tests to indulge myself in English. It seemed
to be the only way to get me out of the eternal cycling of deluges of
papers and damnable tests. To me, English was never a subject; it was
rather a necessary part of my life. And I knew, as numerous prizes from
various competitions kept hypnotizing me that I was headed for an
excellent college career.
Yet, things rarely turn out the way as we planned. The fatal third year
came and problems followed. My long-term carelessness on other school
subjects had paralyzed me in the college application process. Now my
last hope to enter my ideal colleges was though a special recommendation
track that catered to English majors, and I have to pass this very
important English test. In order to carry out my promise to get into an
excellent college, I put all my bets on this test. If I couldn』t win
the victory in this game, I wouldn』t even have enough time to prepare
for the JCEE—there was only one month left.
I
made up my mind to give up all other subjects and concentrate on
preparing for this test. This was a really risky step, and time was
rushing. In the past I spent three hours a day on studying English.
Now I spent whole days on it. All of my teachers supported me so
whole-heartedly that they would even allow me to not take any other
classes or tests. I knew that I was just a beginner at writing, so I
devoted most of my time to improving my writing skills. Everyday I
read, and wrote for more than eight hours a day. I was following the
same schedule again and again, numbing myself in the same monotony for
thirty days. Finally, the test was over; then followed a period of
anxious waiting in agony.
One day the dean of studies of our high school, who also support me very
much, gave me an envelope from the test center. I quickly open the
envelope and found that I was rejected by ten more schools I applied
for. I cried out loudly right in the corridor for I couldn』t believe my
eyes. I』d spent three years to make my dream come true and now not even
one college was going to accept me. Numerous hours spent on English
couldn』t even make me pass an 「English exam」 like this. English, what I
once loved so strongly now cruelly betrayed me in return. I couldn』t
stand this. I couldn』t stand this. Three years of my senior high
school life ended up as a tragedy.
To
excel over all others may be a dream for the masses. Yet, sometimes,
the cost is so high that we can』t even afford it. My own painful
experience has taught me an important lesson: it is dangerous to devote
all your energy to one thing. If you should succeed at it, your life
would have been already stripped bare. If you fail, god forbid, you are
left with little to go on.