First of all, I have to say that I grew up in a very loving and
open-minded family. My parents always made everything smooth and easy
for me, I had nothing more to ask for. But as I grew older, decisions
of my own had to be made. By that time, I found out that, I』m really
not sure whether I could trust myself or not.
I
have always had a special interest in films. In the beginning, it was
only the pure pleasure of enjoying the movie. Going out to see a movie
used to be my favorite pastime. But as I grew older and had seen a
whole lot of movies, I found out that my feelings toward movies were not
simply pleasure-oriented. I was also greatly interested in how a
scene was shot, why the actor blinked at a certain moment, and how the
background music was composed—all of these could send me thinking for
hours. That』s when I decided that I would study films. I want to know
how movies came about. There』s a yearning inside me that wants to be
part of films, part of that magic. To me, it would give me the most
fulfillment by becoming a member of the crew of a great film.
But
I guess it didn』t sound very moving to my parents. When they learned
that I wanted to study films, they didn』t directly say no but they
certainly weren』t encouraging about it. Maybe they thought that I was
just daydreaming and I would come to my senses soon enough, but I didn』t
change my mind. I was a high school student, struggling to survive in
a competitive high school. There』s no doubt that my parents would want
me to concentrate on my school work, but I just couldn』t stand not
seeing movies. My excuse of watching movies to improve my command of
the English language (which is true) was wearing thin, so I had to sneak
out to see movies. Then, when I had to start preparing for the college
entrance exam, came the nightmare--no movies at all.
Luckily, I now find myself happily registered in the English department
of NCU, which is noted for its concentration on film studies. This
seems to be the best place I can be for now. Of course, the fight isn』t
over yet. In the future, whether I should choose a job that I』m really
interested in or should I just pick a job that I happen to be good at?
This is the problem that I』m concerned about. If I just go with the
flow and get a job like any other English major, I don』t believe I would
be genuinely happy. On the other hand, if I choose to pursue my
dream, what are my chances? Pretty low, I believe. To be honest, there
really aren』t that many job opportunities in the film industry in
Taiwan. In fact, I might end up in the streets. But then, so what! At
least I gave it a try. I know that it is my own problem, and the
struggle and the decision are all mine. And for all that matters, I
certainly will give it all I』ve got.