This morning, we the freshmen of NCU English Department were demanded to
attend a meeting in which the candidate for the next chairman of the
English Department delivered a speech about what he plans to do in the
next three years. When being asked about which aspect of schoolwork
would he want to put more emphasis on, he said that what』s the most
important was to improve the students』 ability of reading. It means
that, in his opinion, the ability to read and comprehend the texts or
literatures would be much more highlighted during the next three years,
and would become an essential and basic skill for all English majors.
His words reminded me of the things I had been afraid of and worried
about since the day I decided to enter NCU English Department.
After taking the Joint College Entrance Examination, I started to gather
information on all the universities with Foreign Language Departments or
English Departments, for I had decided to major in foreign languages
since I was a junior high school student. I went to some informal
discussion meetings, asked my teachers, my friends for pieces of
advice. One day, I went to listen to a speech at a cram school which
introduced many national and private universities and their
departments. When the National Cheng Kung University, a university
located in Tainan, and the distinguishing features of its Foreign
Languages Department were introduced, I was totally attracted.
This Foreign Language Department offers many courses that attracted me.
First, looking at the 45 courses listed, it is clear that the department
puts much more emphasis on application, whether English or any other
foreign languages, than any other English or Foreign Language
Departments. Moreover, the department even stresses on the relations
between psychology and literature, including psychological analyses of
how authors created masterpieces, and so on. Due to my interest in
psychology, I thought this might be the ideal school for me. What』s the
most attractive to me was that the department attaches much more
emphasis to all kinds of foreign languages: German, French, Japanese,
Russian, Spanish, as well as Chinese literature, than the other
universities. Therefore, being full of excitement and happiness, I was
firmly determined to apply for it, and I could not help running home and
was in haste to tell my mother this good news.
When I finally arrived home and merrily told my mother what I had
learned in the cram school and my decision on application, the smile,
excited facial expressions that I had imagined for hundreds of times on
my way home didn』t turn up; instead, I was met with a worried, vexed
response from my mother. After several seconds of silence, she said,
「Do you know where NCKU is?」
「Of
course I know that it is located in Tainan, but, as long as I like it,
distance is not the problem, right?」
「No. Certainly not. But, it would be difficult for you to go there and
back, and how would you move your baggage down there, by train?」
「Mom, I am willing to move them by myself however difficult it would be,
as long as that is the school I have been looking for.」
「All right. But, how about the cost of the train tickets? Won』t it
become a heavy burden of your living expenses? If you choose another one
not as far from Taipei as NCKU is, everything will be much more
convenient. And it will also be pretty easier for us to see you there.
Don』t you think it is too hardhearted to let a seventy-year-old
grandmother spent several hours on the train just so that she could see
her beloved daughter in Tainan?」
Several seconds of silence ran between us. I really wanted to say
something to argue with her and fight for my ideal and dream. Even
though I shouted hundreds of times in my heart, I had nothing in reply.
I knew it. I knew that the tuition was hard enough to afford, let alone
the cost of the train tickets. Moreover, how could I let my dear
grandmother trudge over such a long distance to see me?
『Alright. Just let me think it over. Good night.」 My eyes were
brimming with tears while I walked out of the room. I carefully hid
them so as not to let my mother see them. Right at that moment, I made
up my mind. I decided to give up my ideal school and dream.
Listening to the future chairman』s lecture, I understood that there was
no way back. In spite of regret, I realized that what』s more important
was to grasp the time and chance in front of me instead of the past.
Therefore, I was determined to start over again. I wanted to face the
world again, and I know that I can』t miss any chances again.