<Go Back>

Being Forced to Give It Up

Struggle

S-H

I have lived in Keelung for over twenty years.  Before 20, I had not traveled abroad, merely visited scenic spots far away from home.  From being an elementary school student to a junior high student, I was told to come back home right away after school.  My two schools are very near to my house; it just took me less than fifteen minutes to arrive at the schools from home.  Frankly speaking, I did not know how to take a bus until I graduated from elementary school. 

At a time, as I was a junior-high-school student, after a final exam, a few classmates invited me to visit Taipei.  Not to say, I was full of excitement and asked Mother for permission to join this excursion.  However, to my disappointment, Mother refused my request, and the reason was her worries about my safety.   I spent lots of time assuring her, telling her about our destinations and my classmate』s sufficient experiences in visiting Taipei.  But she just said 「No.」  「Without parents』 accompanying, I do not agree.」   I did my best to persuade her but all in vain.  Filled with sadness and anger, I carried on a cold war with Mother.  A few days later, Mother not only inquired of my classmates about the visit but also called their parents to discuss the safety problem.  Through a number of phone calls, finally she agreed.  Although I could visit Taipei, I felt exhausted.

This experience impressed me lot.

When I became an English-major at N.C.U, I made up my mind to visit America in the coming four years.  In my first summer vocation at university, I stayed in Cheng-Kung-Ling for one-month for military training.  As I was a sophomore, I informed Mother that I would leave for America alone to visit my friend during the summer vocation.

「It is too dangerous!  You have no experience going abroad, and you both are just students.  How can I not worry?」

Again, without consideration, she disagreed immediately. 

「I am majoring in English, so I need to visit an English-speaking country to test my learning.」  I sincerely said what I thought.

「Who said that?  You can learn English very well in Taiwan.」

「But, mom, going abroad is also good for me, and to experience the western culture is really useful to me.」

「You just desire to play abroad.  It costs lot!」  Mother said.  It seemed a threat, which meant that she would not supply my traveling expenses.

「Well, I can look for part-time jobs or be a tutor, making money to pay my expenses as possible as I can.」

「What?  Since you have ability in making a fortune, why aren』t you responsible for your tuition on your own from now on!」

「Mom, come on, I did not mean that.  I just want to carry out my dream.」  I replied in a bit of helpless tone.

「As you work, you will have many chances to visit abroad.」

「No, by that time I would be tied down by my occupation.」

「I just disagree! No argument anymore.」  Afterwards, she refused to go on.

I was in a dilemma.  On one hand, I realized that Mother』s firm disagreement was due to her natural maternal concern.  To be a considerate son, should I be obedient to give up my insistence?  On the other hand, I knew it was a valuable chance to grow up and to be independent.  And, I desired to arrange my third summer vocation at N.C.U for studying at a cram school.  Moreover, as for the future, it would be full of uncertainties.  Hence, if I miss this chance to go abroad, I would be more remote from my dream.

Nevertheless, this time Mother』s disagreement was much more resolute than before.  I decided not to discuss this matter for a while.  Luckily, at the same time, I got a tutoring job.

When the summer vocation was coming, one day I told Mother that I was going to apply for an American visa.  Unfortunately, conflicts broke out again.

「Did you not listen to what I said?  I told you I did not agree.」  「Don』t you think that I will worry about you?」  「Do you consider that you could do anything you desire and ignore my feelings?」

 I felt helpless.  With a firm determination, I began to communicate with Mother. And all I could act was to not only show my will but prove my safety.  One evening afterwards, Mother was gradually touched.  「Let me think about it carefully.」  She ended our conversations.

Because of her eternal love toward her child, Mother made concessions.  Afterwards, she started to prepare the necessities for me.  Before leaving, I gave her a thankful embrace.  However, Mother showed me her endless concern. 

<Go Back>