Life often poses
difficult choices for us. We are asked to choose between two extremes:
in one, we play by all the rules set up by our society and lead a boring
life; in another, we violate those rules and end up being ostracized
from our society and have no life at all. The classic film Splendor
in the Grass presents a perfect example of such a dilemma through
its heroine Deanie.
Deanie, presented as coming of age in the 1930s』, was a good and decent
girl. In those days, girls with good upbringing were trained to be
reserved about love and sex--- no indecent styles of clothing, no sexual
behavior before marriage, not even close contacts with men. As a
so-called good girl, Deanie followed most of the rules set by the
society; she dressed properly and had no sex with her boyfriend, Bud,
even though sometimes they got quite close to it. However, Deanie
noticed the different and somehow admiring look of Bud when he was
talking with other girls in fashionable dresses and started to wonder
about her position as a good girl. Should she abandon the propriety and
turn herself into an attractive but indecent woman with the possibility
of invoking public criticism and parental disappointment? Or should she
continue to abide by the rules and risk losing Bud』s love for her?
The conflict sharpened when her lover』s sister Jeannie entered the
picture. Jeannie was a typical bad-girl who flaunted her sexuality
casually among men. She wore sexy dresses, fashionable hairdos, and
hung out with men for fun despite her parents』 disapproval. Eventually
she was violated at a party and then died in a traffic accident.
Affected by such tragedy, Bud tried to terminate his relationship with
Deanie for he didn』t want his lover, Deanie, to become another Jeannie.
But Deanie misunderstood him and believed that if she changed herself
into a bad girl, Bud would come back to her side. So she dressed and
behaved like a bad girl for Bud』s sake and was of course bitterly
disappointed by Bud』s furious response. Afterwards, she had a nervous
breakdown and that eventually separated them forever.
The case in the film demonstrates that neither way would work out for
Deanie--- neither a good girl nor a bad girl. What interests me is that
not only Deanie but also the numerous women who are caught in such
puzzles everyday. If a girl is decent, she will receive many
compliments but lack originality of character because she is merely
following the norm. On the contrary, if she strays outside the norm,
she will gain more chance for personality development but lose her space
of living because she has attacked the golden rules of most people.
Choosing the former, you may live a smooth life that is marked by
tediousness and barrenness. Choosing the latter, you may lead a colorful
life but also suffer from criticism and contempt. The situation seems
to allow no other alternative for women. To break out of this dilemma,
we need a new way of thinking beyond the either/or; for if we erase the
line between a good girl and a bad girl, it would allow people more
space and flexibility to live. A New age is approaching, and living in
such a new environment we may need new ideas to create more outlets for
one problem instead of restraining ourselves in two extremes.