After I entered the
university, away from home, my mom said something to me that she wanted
me to keep in mind. Always think before you leap—this is what she told
me. I was really curious about this whole new surroundings, and kept
high interest about all the things that I saw here; however, there was a
period of time that I hated to remind myself of Mom』s words. I felt
bound when the words appeared in my mind and tried to stop me from doing
something 「not-quite-right.」 For example, I would go out with boys very
late, which was definitely forbidden while I was home. At first, I
would feel guilty that I did it, but then the feeling of guilt had
somehow disappeared slowly for an unknown reason. I was starting to ask
myself a question—why can』t I? And I found an explanation for myself:
Things are forbidden because they might hurt me, which means if I can
learn to keep myself away from danger, I can do anything I want.
I then formed a new idea about what I am doing. As a grown-up, I can』t
hide under my parents』 wings anymore, and it』s necessary for me to learn
to grow up. I guess the first step that I must take is to get enough
information about things that I encounter. My Parents』 suggestions
could be useful, but those words are no longer 「laws」 for me. I have my
own considerations and it』s only me who knows the problem best. But of
course that means I have to get enough wisdom first, and that is the
hardest part. Sometimes we have to go through lots of failures, more
than we can bear, and then we would get the most valuable experience.
I value the responsibility that a grown-up should shoulder. Everyone
should be responsible for what he or she did, no matter he or she got a
good or awful ending. But as we pursue those valuable experiences and
knowledge, we must keep our own safety in mind.
Jenny, a girl who has been considered not quite normal in the movie,
splendor in the grass, longed for freedom. So she started to throw
away all the 「old constraints」 and abandoned herself to all kinds of
loose conduct without any consideration for safety. Once she was almost
raped after she got drunk. I have to say that jenny had forgot
something that is really important—she forgot to protect herself, and
nearly let the danger hurt her. Sure, she can get drunk, so long as she
could protect herself from those assholes. Most of the time we can』t
predict the danger, but we still can think before it hurts us. Or, we
should at least have enough strength to bear the consequences.
I think that being a grown-up is not so easy, but it』s worth trying. It
would be nice if one day I no longer need to say, 「why can』t I?」