郭晉汝
My sister suffers from
depression, and my family has suffered through her illness so hard we
have learned the huge impact that depression exerts on a family, and it
isn』t easy for us to recover as well.
My sister has insomnia; she
constantly weeps in the middle of the night. She experiences sudden
losses of concern for school work, feels alienated from family members,
and refuses to communicate. At times, she becomes pessimistic and
suicidal. Even when she is at home, she always wears that poker face
with her unbearable cold attitude and says real hurtful things to us,
blaming things on everyone else. Her depression has caused us a sense
of desperation and helplessness within the family. People say I』m the
only person capable of communicating with her, but I hate the pressure
they are putting on me on how I should try to talk to her and work
things out. Still, at the same time I feel a strong sense of guilt and
fear for not being able to help my own sister.
The characteristics of the
depressed are easily misjudged by people around them. The truth is:
depression is a chemical imbalance, its cause yet unknown, which affects
moods and emotions, over which the depressed have little or no control.
Those who have experienced the mental pain of someone they are close to
are as well bearing the pressure over how much responsibility to take.
Watching their beloved ones suffer while they feel paralyzed over the
whole event often causes their own self-condemnation, putting them also
at risk of becoming depressed themselves.
My family has sought therapy
for my sister, she』s now taking drugs, and I』ve tried to communicate
with her as well. Things are better than it used to be. Though
medical intervention may make the depressed feel betrayed, professional
therapy is best for all concerned. If you』d like to help someone close
to you end his/her depression, you should learn all you can about
depression and the help system for depression in your area; learn to
communicate with him/her and listen to what he/she has to say, without
being judgmental or overly directive. But if you cannot bond in the
responsibility because of past negative baggage, or you feel your life』s
being destroyed by the depressed and you are becoming depressed
yourself, it may be necessary to ask for help from the appropriate
professionals. The relationship between the family members and the
depressed has a better chance of being mended after the depression is
lifted.