魏廷諭
In recent years, more and more
pampered children appear in the world, especially those 「only ones,」 who
are the most valuable treasures for their parents. Only children always
draw all of their parents』 attention and favor. Still, instead of
having a carefree childhood, many of them feel anxious and depressed
more often than other children. The pressure from the parents and
their fellow students may be the main cause for their depression.
Most only children have not had
much experience interacting with children of their own age. The only
child is alone at home, with no one to play with or talk with; nor is
there anyone to fight with. Growing up alone, an only child is easily
self-centered; he or she understands vaguely about cooperating with
others. When it is time for an only child to do things with others, he
or she often does not know how to deal with disagreements. An only
child may insist on his or her 「better」 opinions instead of listening to
others』 suggestions. Facing arguments, the only child may not know what
to do but keeping to herself or himself and feeling depressed.
Furthermore, after several rounds of these fights, other students may
consider the only child as an egotist. Who wants to work with such a
boastful person? The answer is obvious.
Part of the difficulty of interacting with others
comes with the fact that the only child has never learned the art of
negotiating. He/she has always had his/her way because the parents
indulged 「the only child.」 An only child can get everything he/she
wants without much difficulty. Yet at the same time, the total
attention of the parents also means that the child will have to fulfill
the parents』 highest expectation on everything. If the child is
intelligent, maybe it is all right; however, if the child cannot fulfill
the parents』 expectation, he/she will have to shoulder the emotional
burden of parental disappointment. The
discipline itself is enough to seriously
hurt the child and cause him/her to be depressed.
Many of my friends who are only children told me
that they suffered from these pressures. 「I knew that my classmates
often laughed at me behind my back,」 one said, 」That was a really
difficult time for me to get along with peer groups.」 Another one, who
was also my best friend in senior high school, is a responsible
daughter. She loves her family deeply; however, to be an obedient
daughter, she who has wild dreams gave up the chances to be free from
the parents』 demands. I witnessed her struggle with the hard choice and
her depression upon her own decision.
Surprisingly, most parents do
not know what they have done to their only children. Parents easily
regard everything as usual. 「Do you know how hard it was to bring you
up? You thankless child!」 Most parents do not understand their only
children well; in fact, there are truly only children who sacrifice
their dreams to stay at home and try to be the models in the parents』
eyes. Doing this kind of sacrifice deprived their interests toward life
and they became depressed watching others』 glories.
One who grows up without
siblings is alone; one who lives in depression is lonely. Who wants to
have them both? We should try to
take away all the pressures on only children. They did not intend to be
difficult, nor should they commit themselves to others』 expectations.
Moreover, they need 「friends」 instead of opponents; they need their
dearest parents to 「listen to」 them instead of demanding perfect
performances. An only child may be alone, but one definitely doesn』t
want to be lonely and depressed at the same time.