蔡妮燕
Do you feel ashamed of
yourself? If so, you have to pay more attention to your health, because
that could be a symptom of depression.
In contrast with fear that
involves external threats, a sense of shame rises when we feel
disappointed about something inside us, our basic nature. Shame is an
inner torment: feeling cowardly, stupid, worthless, and so on.
According to Beattie(1989), the origin of shame is usually
assumed to be in our infancy or childhood for shaming is used by
parents, by friends, and by society to gain control over individuals.
For example, when children are blamed with
some insulting comments or physically punished by adults, their 「will」
is broken; thus it
may make children feel ashamed of themselves (for being helpless
against the adults?). Even in adolescence we feel
ourselves being watched and judged; we are 「shamed into」 giving
up crying and touching; we are looked down upon if we aren't successful,
attractive, or independent. In short,
there are many reasons that may lead one to be shamed, and almost every
one has had this kind of experience.
Shame often causes depression.
The memories of our past--our childhood and adolescence--form our
identity or our basic sense of self. Because we have shame-based
families and cultures, shame gets connected with many things, such as
our interpersonal needs, feelings, and life purposes. In other words,
whenever one is ashamed of oneself, he or she will get hurt and
depressed more easily. Besides, in some extreme cases, some people even
are ashamed of everything they are, of their entire self; they always
look on the dark side of life and dislike parts of themselves. This
kind of situation may make one disdain oneself as a whole and cause
serious depression.
Although shame is a
powerful force causing depression, some suitable shame and anxiety can
also serve useful purposes. For instance, if we feel ashamed of our
faults or bad habits, we will try harder to improve ourselves; thus we
are getting better and better. Anyway, as long as we have more
confidence of ourselves and recognize our living value, depression will
never 「find」 us!