Jessie
「God works in mysterious ways」
was once a motto that had kept me alive, but now it』s the greatest
obstacle that blocks me from my goal.
Ten years ago, this saying came
into my life. I was running home to share with Mama Ann the excitement
of getting the top score in class. Out of the blue came some of my
classmates who surrounded me and used me as their target for the
rock-throwing contest. I could do nothing except crying. In fact, I
kept crying long after they left. It was not the rocks that hurt me but
their words. They said I was a dirty piece of trash that nobody
wanted. Furious as I was, I could not contradict them for I was an
orphan and I was found inside a trash bag. I ran back to my sanctuary,
Mama Ann』s arms, and sought comfort. Mama Ann embraced me firmly and
told me, 「God works in mysterious ways; follow his will and you would be
surprised.」 Her faith in God inspired my little heart, at that instant,
I felt secure and tranquil for I knew God was by my side. I got back on
the track of life and took my being an orphan as a challenge that God
had given me-- if I survived the ordeal, I would indeed be rewarded with
a great future. Therefore, I worked extra hard and no longer felt
ashamed of my identity. Now, I am only two weeks from graduation, and
already got a scholarship from one of the Ivy League Colleges. I
believe I am not far from the great future that I had dreamed for. Or
am I?
Two month ago, Mama Ann took me
to the hospital for a blood test. She explained it as a regular health
check-up, and I believed her without any doubt. A week later, a wealthy
old man showed up and told me that I was his long lost daughter; the
relationship had been confirmed by the blood test that I took. His
words exploded in my head. Like all other homeless orphans, I dreamt of
having a family. However, actually getting one was totally different
from dreaming about it. Now, a strange man suddenly gets into my life
and declares me as his daughter. I don』t know how to react! It is as
if God had played a big joke on me. He took me away from my home, why
is he putting me back twenty years later? Once more, Mama Ann told me
to follow God』s will and give my newly found parents and myself a chance
to enjoy family life. Once again, I accepted the fate that the all
mighty God had planned for me.
To be honest, my 「new」 parents
are 「beyond」 being nice to me. I had been kidnapped twenty years ago
because of their carelessness. For that reason, they are trying to
fulfill every wish of mine in order to make up for the past twenty
years. They tell me constantly that they want me to be happy for the
rest of my life. I know they only meant well, but they went too far
when they tried to fix a marriage for me. I told them about my plans to
continue my education, but they think the only way to happiness is
through a rich husband. Knowing their great intention, I just couldn』t
refuse them. Again, I turned to Mama Ann for help. Without hesitation,
she said, 「God works in mysterious ways. Just follow and accept your
destiny.」
Lying in bed late at night, I
am suddenly sick of the saying 「God works in mysterious ways」. A saying
that was once my strength to live on now becomes an invisible wall that
blocks me from my goal. This is my life, I declared, it』s not God』s.
In the middle of the night, I made a decision—a decision that changed my
life.
God works in mysterious ways –
「Indeed」, I thought, sitting in the plane flying to Boston. Listening
to the screams and feeling the plane spiraling down to its crash, I
wanted to laugh. I did not die twenty years ago while being kidnapped,
but I am going to die today, after finally deciding to take my life into
my own hands. I guess God does work in mysterious ways, or should I say
we are all fortune』s fools…