簡瑜蓓
There is an old Chinese saying—「Life is treasure, but love is more
valuable.」 Love between lovers has been extolled throughout history,
and we can see the praise of that kind of love in the very early works
such as The Song of Songs in the Bible and the Chinese 「詩經.」
In this modern age, people especially admire the kind of love
relationship that breaks down all barriers of formal schooling and
family background. They believe that true love is invincible. As much
as people value the magical powers of romantic love, I would suggest
that level of education and family background are still very important
factors in making a relationship truly work.
Since love relationship still needs daily interaction to sustain itself,
whether the two parties can communicate with each other becomes a very
important factor. Famous Chinese scholar
胡適was a victim
of an arranged marriage in which he could hardly talk with his appointed
wife who was illiterate. Such unsuitable matches were not uncommon in
China. So people are now realizing that a couple with similar education
experiences will be able to communicate with each other more easily.
Couples with advanced education can talk about the latest trend of
thought, reason through serious social problems, and learn new
technology and knowledge together. Couples with limited education can
still share their unique life experiences and dreams and hopes. Only by
such smooth communication can a couple stay together.
Besides similar education experiences, family background is also an
important element for the two parties if they hope to stay together
long. Family education affects people』s personalities and life habits.
As every family education is unique, it would be a very tough task for
two people with very different life habits to live in the same house.
They might quarrel frequently for each other』s intolerable living
particularities. That』s why another old saying goes: 「Loving your
spouse is much easier than getting along with him/her.」 I suppose
even Cinderella would regret marrying the prince and becoming the
princess because she has to get rid of almost her original life habits
and follow all palace rules. And a princess wouldn』t be happy after she
realizes how many tough situations she would have to face for marrying
the poor guy she once had a crush on. Those who are used to saving as
much money as possible would be regarded as stingy in a rich family. In
contrast, those who are used to spending money as pleasure would be
hardly accepted in his/her spouse』s impoverished family for his/her
waste.
Love is the sweetest thing in the world, so everybody does his/her best
to seek true love. Yet we should not let ourselves be blind to the
realities of the big differences in the couple』s formal schooling and
family background. For these differences may prove to be deadly to any
romantic love.