2006春──翻譯與習作

何春蕤(週三上午9-12A-105教室)

 

translation homework


先生先生Sir! Sir! 
蘇意棻翻譯


雖然,包子不算是一個特別漂亮的女生,但是不知道為什麼,她經常碰到性騷擾;雖然,包子這方面的經驗很多,但是不知道為什麼,她從來就沒學會如何好好應付這樣的人。 
包子認識了一個朋友,是專門做直銷的。做直銷的人大部分性格都非常堅強,擁有驚人的樂觀和超人的耐力,不怕受挫,不畏他人臉色。包子覺得很佩服,打算要好好學習。
一次,她又在火車上遇到有人對她毛手毛腳。包子斜眼瞄瞄對方,是個西裝筆挺的這男士。車裡的人很多,包子勉強轉過身去,面對著西裝筆挺的色鬼男,對方神色鎮定,態度從容,動也不動。
包子開口說:「先生先生,我知道有一家情趣用品店的東西,種類特別多,介紹給你 去好不好?你好像很需要。」對方還是神色鎮定,態度從容,動也不動。包子繼續說:「先生先生,要不然現在很流行色情網站,我可以把網址給你,然後我哥哥也有好幾本色情雜誌和超限制級的寫真集,錄影帶也有好幾捲,你比較喜歡哪一國的?日本!一定是日本對不對?」
Baozhi is not a particularly pretty girl, but for no reason at all, she often meets with sexual harassment. Though she is now quite experienced in such matters, she never figured out how to deal with this kind of people.
Baozhi has a friend who is in the business of direct sales. People in that line of business usually have strong personalities, an astonishing degree of optimism, and super endurance. They are not afraid of setbacks, nor bad attitudes. Baozhi has great admiration for them and is determined to learn from them.
One day on the train, Baozhi sensed a man』s hand feeling her body. She took a quick glance at the guy in a well-pressed suit. The train was very crowded and she had a hard time turning around to face the goat man, so the man remained very calm, unruffled, and wouldn』t budge.
Baozhi finally opened her mouth and said to the man: 「Sir, I know a sex shop, and they have a lot of different things. I can tell you where it is. It seems that you need it badly.」 But the man still remained self-composed and unhurried. Baozhi continued: 「Sir, there are many porn sites on the internet, I can give you some. My brother also has several copies of porn magazines and x-rated photo albums, and even porn videos. Which kind do you prefer when it comes to porn videos? Japanese ones! Definitely Japanese ones, right? 」


對方開始動動肩膀,看看四周,假裝包子是個瘋婆娘。「先生先生,這些你都不喜歡嗎?那你為什麼要一直摸我的屁股?還是你一定要真槍實彈才過癮?先生先生,你是不是很久沒做愛了?好可憐喔!可是你也不能亂摸別人的屁股啊!先生先生,先生先生… …」
對方開始想要從人群中慢慢向門邊擠過去,包子也跟著擠過去。其他乘客都很自動地讓出一條窄窄的縫。「先生先生,」包子伸手抓對方的西裝衣袖,「你不要不好意思啊,世界上的色狼那麼多,又不只你一個,我從小就碰到過好幾次喔。先生先生,我想知道你到底為什麼要摸我的屁股。為什麼呢?先生先生,你為什麼要摸我的屁股?」
The man began to shrug his shoulders and look about him, pretending that Baozhi was crazy. She pressed on, 「Sir, don』t you like my suggestions? Then, why do you keep touching my hips? Do you have to be satisfied with the real thing? Sir, Sir, when was the last time you had sex? How pathetic! But you cannot touch other』s hips at your will because of that. Sir, sir, sir…!」
The man began to move toward the door, and Baozhi followed. All the other passengers automatically moved aside to create a narrow passageway for her. 「Sir,」 Baozhi grabbed his suit sleeve and said, 「You don』t have to feel embarrassed. There are so many freaks in the world, you are not the only one. I had met many men like you in my childhood. Sir, I just want to know why YOU want to touch my hips. Why? Sir, sir, why do you want to touch my hips? 」


西裝色鬼男摔開包子的手,好像她是一隻蟑螂。包子又用另一隻手去抓他的西裝衣袖,「先生先生,你媽媽知不知道你會在車上摸女生的屁股?先生先生,這樣很不好,不要亂摸別人屁股啊!」車子終於停下來,門一開,西裝色鬼男落荒而逃,包子還伸出頭去朝對他大喊,聲音在月臺裡迴盪四方:「先生先生!不要再亂摸別人的屁股啊--- ---!」車子繼續發動了,車廂裡的眼光都偷偷地集中在包子身上。包子神色鎮定,態度從容,低頭繼續看她的書。
The suit guy shook off Baozhi』s hand as if she was a disgusting cockroach. Baozhi grabbed his sleeve with her other hand. 「Sir, does your mother know that you harass girls by touching our bottoms on the train? Sir, that』s really a bad thing. Please don』t touch other』s hips!」 The train finally stopped and the man fled from Baozhi as soon as the door opened. Baozhi put her head out of the window, shouting at the man, and the platform resounded with her voice: 」Sir, don』t touch other』s hips again!」 The train began to move. All of the eyes in the train were gazing at Baozhi, but this time, she was completely unperturbed and continued reading her book as nothing had happened.