JEALOUSY--HARMFUL OR HELPFUL? 

Issue: USA Today, Nov, 2000

Jealousy not only can destroy a partnership, it can renew one as well--and may even be the key to a happy relationship, argues psychologist David Buss, University of Texas at Austin, and the author of The Dangerous Passion: Why Jealousy Is as Necessary as Love and Sex.  "Jealousy is as important as trust in keeping couples together.  To counteract the desire to stray--and to strengthen the bond between partners--jealousy evolved as an early detection system of infidelity."

Although a number of theories propose that jealousy is an immature emotion, a sign of insecurity, neurosis, or flawed character, Buss believes that it is an adaptation.  "Non-jealous men and women are not our ancestors, having been left in the evolutionary dust by rivals with different passionate sensibilities.  We all come from a long lineage of ancestors who possessed this dangerous passion."

It is unlikely that love, with the huge psychological investment it entails, would have been able to evolve without a defense that shielded it J from the constant threat from rivals and the possibility of betrayal from a partner, he maintains.  "Jealousy evolved to fill that void, motivating vigilance as the first line of defense and violence as the last.  The paradox is that jealousy--an emotion evolved to protect love--can rip a relationship apart."

Properly used, though, it car enrich relationships, spark passion, and amplify commitment.  "The total absence of jealousy, rather than its presence, is a more ominous sign for romantic partners.  It portends emotional bankruptcy."

Studies reveal that more women than men intentionally elicit jealousy to increase a partner's commitment and test the strength of a relationship.  "By evoking jealousy, a woman causes her partner to believe that she has attractive alternatives available, and that, if he does not display greater commitment, she might kiss him good-bye and depart for greener mating pastures."