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Ethics--Love
at Work
Love
at Work
by Michele Marrinan
Monster Contributing Writer
Summary
Katharine
Gomez never planned to fall in love at work.
A few weeks into her job as an
assistant account executive for Linden Alschuler and Kaplan Inc., a
public relations firm in New York City, she began secretly dating
28-year-old vice president Michael Friedman on the sly. Three weeks
later, they got engaged and made their romance public. They wed on
October 29.
"Everyone was extremely happy
for us," says Gomez, 25. "But I'm sure if it didn't work
out, anything could have happened." Lucky for them, the firm
has no policy against dating coworkers. How could it? Two of the
firm's partners are already married to each other.
Dating someone from work is
natural for many people. After all, who has time to meet someone
when you're working 60 hours or more per week? You may find that
understanding your mutual work lives can deepen your relationship.
And instead of rushing home each evening, you may be willing to work
late, especially if you can do it alongside your beloved.
Despite the upsides, the downsides
can be pretty daunting. First, there's no escape if the romance goes
sour. You still have to see and interact with that person every day.
A failed workplace romance can also hurt your career and reputation.
People may view a promotion or raise as favoritism, no matter how
much you deserve it. And even if the relationship works out, it can
be tough to work with your lover. "You get sick of each
other," says Judy Kuriansky, PhD, author of The
Complete Idiot's Guide to Dating.
Whether or not you should date
someone at the office isn't a clear-cut issue. It depends on your
situation and personality. But if you decide to make the leap, tread
carefully.
Make Sure
You Can Take the Consequences
"If you decide to wander down
that illicit path of meeting somebody in your office, remember to
take the good with the bad," says Paul A. Falzone, CEO of The
Right One and Together, two dating franchises. "The biggest
problem about interoffice relationships is that if it doesn't work
out, you still have to face that person every single day." Make
sure that you can.
Be Smart
You don't want your entire life to
be an open book. Before you ask your love interest out for a drink,
be certain he isn't the type to share your innermost secrets around
the water cooler.
Date Up, Not
Down
Dating a subordinate isn't smart.
Your relationship could be misconstrued as a power play -- date me,
or you won't get that promotion. If things go bad, you could get hit
with a lawsuit for sexual harassment even if the relationship was
mutual. Some companies require managers to report workplace romances
and both parties to sign an agreement stating that they willingly
entered the relationship.
Be Discreet
Some people keep workplace
romances a secret. That's the route Falzone recommends.
But Kuriansky disagrees. She says
that secrets can cause resentment among coworkers. The key is to be
discreet. Don't hold closed-door meetings, don't make overt displays
of affection in the office and stay focused on work.
Get a Life
It's important that you don't
spend every waking hour with your lover and your work. That's not
good for any relationship. Pursue other interests together as well
as individually. And make sure that you have more in common than
your work.
"If you meet someone at work
and that's all you have in common, you may find yourself talking
about nothing else," says Gomez. "That could be a
problem."
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