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男性性工作者揭秘:大多生活困难长相一般

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【2007.05.20  中國新聞網】

 

SW-64

夜幕下的人民广场是上海著名的同性恋交友场所,也是男性性工作者经常光顾的地方。

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男性性工作者揭秘:大多生活困难长相一般(图)
乐宜培训机构的墙角放着上课用的黑板。

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男性性工作者揭秘:大多生活困难长相一般(图)
被公安机关抓获的男性性工作者。(图:香港《文汇报》)

中新网5月20日电 据香港《文汇报》报道,人们已经习惯了各种各样的招聘信息,这一条乍一看来也没有什么不同:4月10日—5月15日,乐宜组织面向全社会招聘志愿者。而乐宜绝不是一个普通的组织,它涉及了一个非常敏感的话题——男性性工作者。

在不少人的眼中,男性性工作者意味着丢人、不劳而获、性病、艾滋病、包养等等不体面的字眼。而他们恰恰是乐宜关注的人群。乐宜是中国首家关注男性性工作者的非政府组织(NGO),为男性性工作者提供医疗、心理咨询与法律援助。2004年,Tony和几个志同道合的朋友向香港乐施会申请了赞助,当年11月就在上海创办了乐宜机构。他们的出发点是“提高男性性工作者在工作中的职业安全,减少艾滋病对男性性工作者的威胁”。

生活困难 长相一般

“很多人对男性性工作者的设想都是帅气,有钱,被富婆包养。但是实际上,他们中的很多人都在为自己的生计发愁。”Tony特别强调,男性性工作者其实也是一个弱势群体,“他们大都从很穷困的地方来,而且并不都是长相漂亮的人。”

北京纪安德咨询中心曾经开展过针对男性性工作者的

艾滋病宣传和安全套的推广以及行为干预,负责人郭雅琦告诉记者,“收入高的男性性工作者也不一定有多好的生活条件,他们的花销很大。”男性做这一行要花大价钱购买性药品,还要买不少衣服、化妆品打扮自己,招徕顾客。
记者电话采访了一个来自内蒙古、现居北京的男性性工作者。当记者问他为什么愿意冒健康的风险做这行时,他说“有些人花天酒地,但是自己却很苦”,觉得“不公平”。至于职业风险,他说“没有付出怎么有回报啊?”“反正也活不了多少年”。谈起现在的生活,他说自己“非常悲观”。

贫穷加剧疾病危险

Tony说,和许多“小姐”一样,大部分男性性工作者都过着很一般的生活,收入高的人只是很小的一部分。不过深圳是个例外,“在深圳,很多男性性工作者都被‘富婆’包养,甚至有人能赚一套房子。”性社会学者方刚这样告诉记者。

男性性工作者的贫穷加剧了艾滋病、性病传播的威胁。Tony解释道,其实大多数男性性工作者都知道戴安全套可以预防性病、艾滋病,但是当客人答应他们不戴可以多给钱时,他们就愿意冒大险去换小钱。记者试着拨通了北京另一个男性性工作者的电话,他说平时自己都戴安全套,但当记者追问不戴套的底线时,他回答:“多给200块钱吧。”
无论社会上对于性产业合法化存在着多少分歧,勿庸置疑的是,中国尤其是上海正面临严重的艾滋病威胁。2006年上海新报告的艾滋病病毒感染者和病人600多例,比2005年的数字高出近70%,对性产业采取合理、可行的引导措施迫在眉睫。

令人欣慰的是,4月9日,中国疾病预防控制中心性病艾滋病预防控制中心发布了《中国男男性行为人群艾滋病防治规划(2007-2010年)》并在社会各界广泛征求意见,这说明政府已经开始正视男性性工作者的问题——尽管这个规划仍未明确将为女性服务的男性性工作者包括在内。

男性性工作者≠

同性恋
很多人对男性性工作者存在误解,认为他们大多是同性恋,是MB(在男同性恋者的圈子中,MB代表Money Boy,主要指的是以男同性恋者为服务对象的男妓)。但是实际上,他们当中还是异性恋占大多数,只是他们大都为双性服务。

“没办法,女性的客源毕竟有限。”方刚告诉记者,“由于同性恋群体不被主流社会所接受,选择恋爱与生活伙伴更加困难,一些同性恋者会选择去找性工作者解决自己的生理需求。”郭雅琦说,他们曾经做过相关的调查研究,估计在MB中,异性恋占总数的75-80%。Tony认为,异性恋男性之所以甘愿服务于同性恋男性,“还是因为经济原因。”不过,至于为双性服务的男性性工作者所占全部男性性工作者的比例目前还没有任何统计。

八成女客来自香港

在男性性工作者中,有必要区分只为男性服务的男性性工作者(也叫MSM,men who have sex with men的缩写)、只为女性服务的性工作者(简称MSW,men who have sex with women)和为两者服务的性工作者。这其中也存在着地区差异,在北京和上海以及其它大部分的中国城市,男性性工作者会为双性服务;但深圳则存在着不少专门为女性服务的男性性工作者,因为那里有着足够的女客源。据方刚田野调查得出的结论,那里80%的女客源来自香港。

同时,值得关注的一个现象的是,不少男性性工作者都有自己的妻子和女朋友,他们的妻子和女朋友很可能同时也是性工作者;而且有些为男性服务的异性恋男性性工作者还会向女性性工作者买性,这就大大增加了性病、

艾滋病的传播机率。(王晓洁)

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一月 2nd, 2014 at 12:01 下午

方刚:男公关是这么一回事

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■本刊记者/张雄

他们来自底层,他们青春、阳光,他们都是“人精”

方刚并不喜欢被人称作“卧底”。

“我在夜总会里是亮明了身份的。而且,我也没做男公关,用他们的话说:我太老啦。
生于60年代末的方刚今年从中国人民大学社会学院博士毕业,他的毕业论文是《男性性工作者男性气概建构的质性研究》。2006年四五月间,他以深圳某夜总会“客房营销员”的身份,与该夜总会的男公关们“亲密接触”两个月,并最终完成该论文。

“全世界对于男公关这个行业的系统研究很少。”方刚说。“男公关是我研究男性气概最典型的样本,男性气概的多样性在他们身上表现得比较突出。我研究的男公关,不是研究他们的性生活,而是研究他们的性别。”

研究对象的特殊性让方刚一下子成了媒体追逐的宠儿。这对于他来说并不新鲜:多年来的“性学研究者”身份原本就是公众注意力的代名词。而在进入性学研究圈之前的10年记者经历,使得他成为媒体的天然合作者——他知道你要问什么,怎样回答让对方满意,等等。不过,方刚说比起男公关察言观色的本领,他还差得远。

他们让我很感动

为什么要实名进去研究?

我一开始也想隐姓埋名,怕公开身份人家不理我,但是隐姓埋名有更大的风险,导师说你这隐姓埋名是卧底,在深圳那个地方几千块钱买你一条胳膊。所以后来就想如果公开身份,可不可以?

当时说想办法领我进去的那个人,我们叫做看门人,一听做调查吓死了,这在中国是一个非法产业,你真写出一个东西来,谁也不敢让你去。

后来深圳有个朋友,领着我们直接去夜总会,找到一个管理者。人家一开始很高兴,以为来开房间,后来说要研究这个,说话都哆嗦了。不过见面之后一聊还挺投机。我跟他说我以前研究过什么人,做性调查我的信誉很好。我说我对性产业没有歧视,没有偏见。然后说一定会保密,论文正式出版之前我肯定会给他看。

单说这个他们还是不信任,当天也没有答应,他是里面客房的经理,是一个具体管事的人。两三天之后信任感建立了,我说我以什么身份进去,他也认为隐姓埋名不好,太伤害公关感情,而且研究伦理上也有点不太好。他说你就说写夜生活研究的论文,我说行。

但是进去之后没有人问你干什么来的,深圳那个地方没有人关心你是谁,就是认为你来挣钱的。后来发现挺安全地就把这个事做完了。

他们有好多部门,我是客房部,就是管包间。想办法把客人领到包间来消费。客房部跟公关有很大关系,因为没有人会在外面点公关。所以就会跟他们有很多密切的接触。

你接近男公关时,他们对你这个外来者态度怎么样?

那些人非常好,甚至比一般人交往起来容易得多,待人非常真诚热情。他们知道我是客房部的,就会挺客气,会常关照你说,“方哥你喝水,一下子你心里就暖暖的。”

这个可能是职业性格了。

一方面可能原来就不错,一方面也可能职业强化了他,不光是对客人,对别人也是一样。

后来他们知道我的目的了,跟我交往最密切的公关,我试着跟他说我写这样的论文怎么样,他说就应该写写我们,我们这行不像社会上说的,把我们描写成面黄肌瘦,我们没那样的。他们看我写这个都挺高兴。

有个小伙子跟我说,你做研究应该不光是看我们这儿,也得看看别处。我说别耽误你事,因为生意最火的时候就是周五周六,他说我领你去,就得这个时候去才看得到。这个让我很感动,他们还会把圈里最好的朋友约一块儿跟我聊,这个费得都是他的时间和精力,最后他还来买单。

多数男人干不了这行

他们都是些什么样的人?

媒体上面常把男性性工作者描写成外表枯槁的形象,我所接触的那些男公关,每个人都挺阳光、青春的,有些人只是比较瘦。他们都否认从事性产业会对他们身体有太大的影响,他们夜总会客房营销部经理申哥也说:“他们都很会保养自己的。”

很多人都幻想觉得,干男公关不错,又挣钱又有女人,挺风光。其实没几个一出来就做这行的,好多都是来自非常穷的地方。没有人一出来就直接进性产业,都是先干别的,比如小区保安、酒店服务员之类。在深圳那个地方,学历低的,来自于农村、小城镇的孩子一天干十几个小时,一个星期干7天,这样一个月下来只挣七八百块,太难了。一个偶然的机会让他发现,有这样一个行业,一下子能赚到原来的十几倍。

我们经常在车站看到那种广告,夜总会招聘男公关,他们都是那样被招过去的吗?

那些大多都是行骗的,骗子收走了引路费就闪人。真正的夜总会不会那样招聘,他们一般都会在门口立个牌子:招聘男服务员。很多人进去确实是干服务员,时间长了,对里面的事情慢慢了解了。有别人引一下路——有的管理者说,要不你试试这个吧?是个很自然的过程。还有的可能在酒吧里跟老乡聊,你挣那么少,还是跟我去做公关吧、做仔吧。还有的在酒吧里跟客人聊天,聊出一定情趣来了,后来有了关系,总之是一步步进来的。直接上来做的话,首先心理就受不了。

怎么受不了?

我也看到很多人过来应聘,一晚上没呆完,扭头就走,干不下去。那种气氛、情绪,那种被客人点的状态,他受不了。而且进一步,跟客人发生关系你也受不了,男人跟女人不一样。你想那些客人,老的,丑的,你没感觉。连那儿的经理都有些不明白,这些公关怎么能做成?后来他问过一个公关:这样恶心的女人你怎么也能做呢?人家说,嗨,眼睛一闭,想她是巩俐她就是巩俐,想她是章子怡她就是章子怡。关键是把它当成工作了,没把它当成性,没有觉得是在做爱。大多数人做不到,过不了这个槛。

女人找男公关跟男人找小姐完全不一样。也有上来点了就走的,那样的少。女人要谈出感情、情趣。很多都是一聊聊上几个月,聊出信任来。所以客人对公关要求非常高。能留下来的公关,我觉得都是人精,都非常聪明。他们可能学历低,但是知识非常丰富。对女人非常了解,看见你就知道你想听什么想说什么,你想干什么你还没说呢他就替你干了。

男公关们都是情场高手。

没错。有些人可能就是特别能聊天,不是海阔天空得让人一见就烦的那种,我觉得这可能是个性。有个公关,家里兄弟姐妹有六个,他说家庭环境使得他从小就琢磨该怎么说话才能讨爸妈喜欢。还有的家里面是村长,打小就学会了社会上那套,看都看会了。

公关这行里有一句话,就是:“我们这行是靠嘴吃饭的。”所谓“靠嘴吃饭”,就是要讨客人的欢心。如果把客人哄高兴了,不一定退场时才给你钱,随时可能拿出钱来给你。公关们说,身上可以不带烟,但必须要带打火机。离老远看哪个客人掏出烟来,赶紧过去给人点上,再看能不能跟客人聊上一两句。我们可真是学不会那一套。看你的眼神表情,就知道你心里想的。咱要是能学会那都是情圣了。

前两天我还碰见一女孩跟我说,以前有个男公关的朋友,对我那个好啊,我觉得跟他呆在一起最舒服,我最信任他,现在想起来可能跟职业有关系。我觉得这得分两方面说,如果说他个人没有到那个境界,他很难做成这个职业;另一方面他做了这个职业,可能更进一步促进了他那个本领。所以说,我觉得男公关是很出类拔萃的一批人。

为什么我跟他们交往特别容易呢?就是因为他们特别体贴人,特别与人为善。对女人如此,对男人、对同事也是那样,很讲义气的。这点跟小姐完全不一样。我的导师做过小姐的研究,小姐是什么人?她们是职业说谎者,你问不来真话,但是公关不一样,他们给人的感觉很真诚,而且交往时间长了就会知道他们说的的确是真话。因为对于有一定社会经验的人来说,谎话一下子就能听得出来,人家会感觉不对劲。

后来我还跟看门人聊起这个问题,为什么小姐和男公关差别这么大,就是因为他们要讨好客人吗?他说你看小姐接待的都是男人,男人就不太把小姐当人。你让小姐跟他们能有实话吗,能有好的交往吗?但是男公关跟女人不一样,女人觉得要有情趣我才上床,像情人了才上床,而且一次好了还会再来找,有的客人找了半年。女人她需要安全感,总是不断换男人她也会害怕。

最怕客人当成一夜情

哪些人会去夜总会找公关?

每到周末,会有许多香港女人专程来深圳的夜总会消费,这些女客人多是香港社会的中下层收入者。而女客人中的大陆人,有企业主、经理人、二奶,在大陆属于有钱人了。

经常是几个女客人一起,进到客房里问,你们这儿有仔吗?能陪我们唱歌吗?很自然的聊天,没有人一进来就说:我要找公关。还有一种方式,男公关到大厅里,去扣女,就是自己主动去发展。但这个成功率很低,十个里面有一个成了算不错。一开始上去聊,人家能理你就算不错,因为很多客人就是想唱唱歌。好不容易有愿意搭理的了,跳跳舞,感觉还不错。再进一步,人家知道,噢!你想发生关系了——人家以为你是搞一夜情呢。公关得试探啊,就怕被当成一夜情啊,白费力气,说您会给我多少钱,人家说“啊什么,给钱?”碰到这样的就倒霉了。又浪费时间又浪费感情。

不过,如果碰到长得好看又年轻的客人,又没有别的客人可以扣时,他们也会愿意出去免费玩一次。当然这样的机会不多。

他们干这行什么心态,就是为了挣钱?有没有定个目标,达到多少就收手?

大多数人觉得干这行就是图赚钱,而且有规划。比如说干个两三年,或者存够50万,然后就转行,谁也不可能长干下去。这是碗青春饭。

男公关的终极目标,用他们的话来讲,就是让客人特别喜欢他,让他一步到位,给他车,给他房子,再给他一个公司。深圳夜总会有很多这样的传说,就是公关最后当老板当经理了。为什么能做成,就是因为是人精,他在夜总会能这么出色,让他管理一个公司,他也能行!

大家都指望着做这样的幸运儿吗?

那是每个人的幻想,这样的机会也确实有,不过真要选择时,他们也会掂量。有一个小伙子跟我聊过,我相信是真的,客人一下就看上他了,想让他去公司上班。但是他不愿意,总觉得那个客人常出夜场,现在喜欢我,三个月之后把我扔了,那我的客户资源不是全没了吗?

有人说,男公关们平时都要吃壮阳药?

不,我觉得大多数人不吃。他们都很在意自己的身体,有人会配一种酒,泡蚂蚁,管不管用我也不太懂。很少有人敢吃药,但是客人让他们吃,有的能适应就同意了,也可以拒绝客人,介绍别的公关来,不是完全听客人摆布。通常,香港来的客人,都会让男公关吃药。

有的客人不想带套,他们自己都要求带,主流媒体上有些性学家说性工作者是艾滋病传染源,我觉得不对。我看他们是预防艾滋病的宣传员,他教育客人要用套,说我接触这么多人,万一有什么事对您影响多不好。有的客人实在不同意就不做了,真没有敢不带的。谁会为挣点钱把命搭上,没那么傻。

封闭文化中的心安理得

男公关们会不会心里特自卑,在别人面前抬不起头?

我觉得这个其实还有一个是文化,在他的小圈子里没有这个问题。因为在夜总会里干这行司空见惯,大家不会觉得特别反常和变态。另外,整个文化对他们有很强的支持系统,首先深圳这个城市笑贫不笑娼,再往下夜总会就不用说了。所以在那个环境下他们不会自卑,不会有内心冲突。但他们跟圈子以外的人一般说自己在售楼处工作,或者是在夜总会做客房营销员,不会说在公关部当公关,有意把自己和外界隔离开。

一般做公关的收入怎么样?每天都会有客人点吗?

有高有低,我接触比较常见的一个月一两万是有的。我在的夜总会最熟的几个人,他们一个月有1万到3万,平均两万左右。也见过惨的,有个小伙子,他做公关两个星期没开张。家里没钱,出来做搬运工,结果干了半个月一分钱没给。就想进夜场,有人给他引路,引进来了,但是一直没有人点他。那小伙子说话害羞、脸红。就是有点不适合这行,还得慢慢磨。

一般来讲,他们一个星期做一到两次。每次起价1000元,没有人会真只给1000元,客人高兴了,就会给5000元,或者两三千元。有时候他们也会想办法多要点,说我手机没钱了,能不能帮我充1000话费。我觉得运气好的时候会有几万,少的可能也就一个月1万。我原来接触过一个高级的,出街起价就是4000元,但是都给六七千,不一样,就是看个人。

高档是什么概念?

工作场所好,档次高,客人档次也高,五星级的,但是能进那个场所是非常不容易的,会有各种各样很偶然的机遇。一方面长得帅,能说会道,天赋好。也有一些肌肉像健身运动员一样,不是咱们一般的肌肉,都是一块一块的。女人隔着衣服一摸就兴奋,价钱就好商量了。

我没糟蹋国家研究经费

回到你研究的课题,男公关到底是怎样的一种“男性气概”?

这是一个复杂的建构过程,它会根据时间、地点、人物的不同有一般变动的过程和趋势。最简单的一个例子,同样女客人里买性,但是女客人不一样,他表现出来的气概就完全不同。有一个男公关就讲过,他印象最深刻的几个女客人,完全不一样。有一个女客人就是比较凶悍,上来就骂他是鸭子,凌辱他。他感觉内心委屈和自卑,但是又没有办法。他有危机感,从属,被动,受压迫。第二个人是个50多岁的女客人,把他当孩子,像母亲一样疼爱他,说他特别像她的初恋情人,抚摸他头发,这个时候他觉得特别温暖,他自己感觉就像一个孩子。还有一个女客人稍微漂亮一点,30多岁,他觉得很有激情,就像一夜情一样,但是实际上客人并不是这样,在这个情景上,他实际上又是另外一种“男性气概”。

有人说你两个月在深圳花天酒地,糟蹋了国家不少研究经费。

这个让我很恼火。两个月我得吃住,得请公关们吃饭聊天,送他们小礼物,花4万块钱算多吗?而且那些研究经费都是私人捐款,青年性学论坛是私人做的,我自己出的那部分钱更是私人的了,没有浪费国家资源。政府不会支持这种调查,会觉得见不得人。我觉得那些贬损性研究的人,背后的概念还是觉得性这个事情不好,不是光明正大的事情,所以就贬损,清华的女博士卧底研究饭馆就行,我研究性产业就下作。孔子都说食色性也,我很想把这个观念传达出去,任何一个学术研究都有价值。

男公关的共同点

方刚通过对其中11名信息提供者(男公关,其中包括一名前男公关)的深入访谈,了解到他们的共同点是:

◆ 学历均不高,除富哥大学毕业外,其他人均为初中或高中毕业,甚至小学辍学;

◆ 除小付来自贫困省份的大城市外,其他人均来自农村、中小城镇;

◆ 小付、富哥到深圳一直没有找到工作,几个月后直接进入性产业;其他人做过的工作均是工厂工人、小区保安、酒店服务员等;

◆ 他们进入性产业时,年龄以20岁至24岁为主。

女顾客来源

深圳男公关的女顾客主要来自香港,其次是台湾。申哥说,只有约20%的女顾客是内地人。但北京的信息提供者说,他们的女顾客中大陆女性占到一多半。两地女客人均以四五十岁的居多,三十岁以下的和六十岁以上的都很少。

每到周末,会有许多香港女人专程来深圳的夜总会消费,这些女客人较多是香港社会的中下层收入者,如公司职员、政府公务员、小企业主等等。申哥说,香港的有钱人不会来深圳消费,而是在香港消费,或者去泰国和马来西亚玩。深圳的消费和香港比起来非常便宜,所以来的人多是为了省钱的。而女客人中的大陆人,有企业主、经理人、二奶,在大陆属于有钱人了。

夜总会的部门分工

楼面部

楼层的服务员

咨客

自己来的客人由他们领着进入大厅

DJ:客房点歌员。

营销部:客房推销;

公关部:男公关;

礼仪部:小姐

酒水部:负责送酒水的。

信息提供者飞飞曾生动地解释说:“做营销是把客人弄进包房,而做男公关是把客人带出夜总会,弄上床。”但不同部门又是互通的,比如营销部的男女营销员也可能陪台甚至出街,而公关部的男公关和礼仪部的小姐也可以向客人推销客房。DJ均是女性,偶尔也会陪台或出街,但其他部门的人员则不会。

文中资料均引自方刚《男性性工作者男性气概建构的质性研究》

(责任编辑:王伟)

Written by admin

一月 2nd, 2014 at 11:54 上午

中国男妓史根在始祖黄帝

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【2006.08.16  猫扑网】

同性恋最早可追溯到中华文明的始祖黄帝。清代文人纪晓岚在《阅微草堂笔记》中称“杂说娈童(男同性恋)始黄帝”。当然这种说法的依据只是民间传说,而中国同性恋最早的史料记载则来自商朝。《商书·伊训》中谈到“三风十衍”,书中提到这不好的“三风”,“卿士有一于身,家必丧,邦君有一于身,国必亡”。三风之一的“乱风”的“一衍”就是“比玩童”,也就是今天所说的同性恋。虽然同性恋在今日尚存的最早记载中以“乱风”这样的受贬面目出现,但这毕竟揭示了同性恋行为在三千年前就已在中国出现,而且其影响之大可列为一“风”。

在商代之后,同性恋一直没有从中华文化中消失。到了春秋战国时代,同性恋交往更趋活跃,受卫灵公宠幸的弥子瑕和魏王宠儿龙阳君分别让同性恋有了“余桃”和“龙阳”的称呼。当时最有影响,最有成就的同性恋者首推楚国伟大诗人屈原,在他的《离骚》《思美人》等诸多作品中,都流露出诗人对楚怀王的恋情(详见《桃红满天下》第13期)。

到了强盛的汉代,帝王将相的同性恋活动屡见史书。据《史记》《汉书》记载,前汉皇帝几乎个个都有同性情人。汉代著名人物如汉武帝、汉文帝、大将军卫青和霍去病等,都有过同性恋经历。汉哀帝不忍推醒在他衣袖上熟睡的男宠董贤,起身时割断了衣袖,”断袖之交”从此成了同性相恋的佳话。

汉代之后,男风(男同性恋)时盛时衰。在这段漫长的历史中,中国的男性在履行成家立业,传接香火的责任之后,周围人对他们的同性恋情往往宽而待之。值得注意的是,中国古代对同性恋所持的态度至多是中性的,也就是不褒不贬,历史记载中没有对同性恋进行颂扬。而同性恋关系多以享乐和猎色为特点,从来不对维系封建社会的家庭伦理构成任何挑战或威胁。

中国到了明朝万历年间(1573-1620),边界和平,工商业发达,从而滋长了浮华世风。据当时的记载,文人中科举之后马上纳妾,大兴土木建豪宅一时成风,盛宴歌舞,极尽奢侈铺张。江南地区,上及达官贵人,下至商贾文人,嫖娼成风,使娼妓业方兴未艾。与此同时,男妓卖淫的象姑馆也应运而生。明末学者沈德福认为,1429年宣德皇帝的禁娼令使部份官员转向年轻男性取乐。到了万历年,男娼业发展其势之盛,直逼他们的女性对手。玄德皇帝意欲重归道德的初衷不但没有实现,反而南辕北辄,适得其反。

明末的道德观念也冲破了“灭人欲,存天理”的宋儒理学的束缚,伸张自然情欲的主张开始萌芽。这种观念的代表是明朝哲学家王阳明(1472-1528),他崇尚个人表现和个性发展,而他的追随者随后发展了这种哲学。他们提出欲望和情感是人的本性,压抑使人无为,人应该表达和释放来自内心和本性的情欲。后来的一些清代文人认为,王阳明的纵欲哲学和与之相伴的享乐风气是明朝于1644年被覆灭的原因之一。

道德观念上的开放,导致了同性恋之风在明清两代的空前繁盛。今天的人们可以从那个时代留下来的文学遗产中窥见一斑。男色破财的故事出现在明代小说集《欢喜冤家》里,明代作家冯梦龙在《情史》里也毫不避讳地收录了同性爱情故事。在中国文学的巅峰之作《红楼梦》里,曹雪芹不但描写了宝玉和秦钟的恋情,而且宝玉和蒋玉涵的同性恋导致了他和封建秩序的第一次正面冲突“宝玉挨打”,书中的“众学童闹学”,“薛蟠挨打”,“贾链狎男宠”,“贾珍嫖象姑”等情节也从侧面反映出当时男风的普遍。清朝乾隆年间的学者袁枚的《子不语》中有大量的同性恋故事,而袁枚本人与吴下秀才郭淳之间就有一段同性恋情。著名诗人兼书画家郑板桥在他的《板桥自叙》中公开承认自己是同性恋:“余好色,尤喜余桃口齿,椒风弄儿之戏。”而他的一系列诗,包括《秋夜怀友》、《板桥竹枝词》等都对同性恋心里有生动刻划。清代同性恋文学中最令人瞩目的是一批专门描写同性恋爱的小说的出现。《宜香春质》、《龙阳逸史》和《品花宝鉴》等作品的出现无疑反映了当时的同性恋风气之兴盛已达到了前所未有的程度。但是男风的盛行直接引发了清朝反同性恋法规的出台,导致了持续百年的中国社会的恐同情绪。

1644年满人进京,中国正式改朝换代。当时的中国是一个因为连年战乱而千疮百孔的国家,由于刚经历亡国的羞辱,全国民心涣散,匪患四起,清朝的统治者意识到重整意识形态和重建民族自信心的重要性,意识到必须拢络文化阶层,以重新建立起国家官僚体制。对中华文化十分精通的清朝统治者此时选择了孔孟之道作为新王朝的意识形态,以达到上述目的。

孔孟之道讲求社会秩序,各人守其本份,“三纲五常”,“父父子子,君君臣臣”。孔孟之道本身主张维持礼教的办法应该是“正名”和“教化”,但是中国尊孔的历史表明,光靠教化是不够的,国家还必须同时对违者进行处罚,教罚并举才能有效维持礼教。清朝在建朝初就意识到了这一点,他们在中国重建礼教时,特别重视法律和法令的作用。一个很突出的例子是1646年的法令规定,在定强奸罪时必须提供严格的证据,这条法令意在强调“贞操观”,其目的一是推行孔孟之道,二是拢络明末保守派儒家学者,求得他们对新王朝的支持。

到了康熙年,清朝已成功地实现了国泰民安,满清政府已经站稳了脚根。雍正皇帝登基后,开展了野心勃勃的巩固满人统治的计划。他一方面减轻人民的税收负担,推行廉政,另一方面对社会的不稳定因素进行坚决镇压。为了控制知识分子的思想,他大兴“文字狱”,严惩有异己倾向的文人,而且实行株连,处刑严酷。“文字狱”有效地压制了知识分子对现状与国家政策的批评,但同时又不妨碍推行孔孟正统礼教。

传统礼教主张“正名”,强调严格的社会秩序,女性守妇道,男性坚守父亲和丈夫的职责,而同性恋直接相悖于这些信条。如果同性恋在社会文化中得到足够的反映,统治者也许不会去注意,或者睁一只眼闭一只眼,不至于大动手脚。但当时男风鼎盛,同性恋在文学作品或文人手记中以前所未有的势头出现,导致了满清统治者对同性恋的关注,使之成了“社会问题”。雍正死后,年幼的乾隆皇帝继位不久的1740年,延袭雍正加强礼教的精神,中国有史以来第一部明确反鸡奸的法令出台。该法令将成年人出于自愿的鸡奸行为刑事化,这是清朝严格加强传统性别角色观念的一系列措施之一。法令出台后的落实程度如何,对男同性恋的控制有何效用,史料上没有记载。但这条法令在中国历史上首次将同性恋行为社会化──同性恋不再是个人私事,它被当作一种”社会危害”受到了法律的干预。西方的基督教和中国的礼教在镇压同性恋方面,终于殊途同归。

中国走过康乾盛世之后,经历了中华民族有文明史以来最惨的衰败。在外强入侵,连年战乱,国家重建等中华民族生死存亡的关键阶段,国家对占人口少数的同性恋者的压制却总没有被忘记。用中国著名精神卫生专家贾谊诚先生的话说,“在国民党的《六法全书》对同性恋,鸡奸等性行为以‘伤害风化罪’论处。1949年中华人民共和国成立后……还对同性恋,鸡奸等性行为以‘流氓罪’论处”。与此同时,有关同性恋的任何公开讨论在几百年内都被列为禁忌,同性恋者只能在自发形成的公厕和公园等地的“渔场”相互结识。压制的结果是,到了改革开放之后,当同性恋议题重新浮出水面时,忽而成了“西方腐朽思想的影响”和“精神污染”,而对同性恋的不宽容态度则被称为“中国特色”。但事实并非如此,同性恋与中国历史共同生存了千年,而对同性恋的压制仅有两百多年的历史。

中国千年的历史为同性恋作为一个文化和一个族群应如何生存和发展提供了宝贵的经验和教训,我们应以史为鉴,避免同性恋在中国近代的厄运重演。中国的传统礼教是不利于同性恋的,但中国同性恋靠依附主流婚姻制度而得以生存。“不孝有三,无后为大”,中国古代的同性恋者都要有传统家庭,转接香火,男子必须结婚生子,在完成这一任务之后,同性恋的男子好男风就没有什么约束了。古代中国婚姻的基本意义在于经济联盟,一个家庭同舟共济与天灾人祸斗争,由于死亡率高,确保种族繁衍和家庭稳固是当时的第一需要。因此在联姻时,变数太多的感情因素一直不被首先考虑。但是组建家庭时无视个人感情也对社会稳定不利,中国古代以纳妾和男风为婚姻制度的补充,满足主男感情或情欲上的需求(不要忘记,中国古代文化本身就是大男子主义的文化)。中国的传统礼教因为适应了中国当时的国情,使中华文明的强盛持续了千年,而中国同性恋者的务实态度,让自身生存千年,没有招致象在其它文化中所遭遇的杀身之祸。

从同性恋的角度看,同性恋在明末清初的由盛转衰体现出以下特点。第一,同性恋在婚姻制度中的地位并没有因为男风的盛行而发生任何改变。男风以迷恋年轻男色为核心,享乐性和短暂性是其特点。同性恋盛行百年,却没有形成一个社会力量,或形成以同性联姻为主的家庭模式,也没有出现一套让同性恋关系渡过生老病死,天灾人祸的机制。所以即使参与的人数不少,但与异性婚姻相比,同性恋仍然脆弱无比。第二,男风依附享乐主义而旺,但同性恋没有及时与享乐主义脱钩,为以后的衰落埋下了祸根。追求个性解放和情感宣泄的享乐主义是诱人的,但我们不能忽视其不切实际的理想主义色彩。原因很简单,人的欲望是无止境的,而享乐不仅需要有物质基础,而且消耗精力。明末的享乐主义助长了腐败,加强了剥削,所以之后的保守派儒家学者将明朝的灭亡归罪于享乐主义是有一定道理的。享乐主义在现实的生活面前有着致命的弱点,当同性恋随着个性解放的享乐主义兴盛之后,没有与之脱离而形成自己的一套行为规范,享乐主义的膨胀导致王朝覆灭,与之共生的同性恋也免不了受到清算。第三,光是规模上的扩大,人数上的增加,而缺乏自强机制,同性恋往往成为社会运动的牺牲品。正如鲁迅先生所说的那样,一个狮子肥壮倒也无妨,但一头羊肥壮起来,可不是件好事。同性恋没有克服自身致命弱点的时候,男风兴盛,招引了统治者的注意,使自身成为一个“社会问题”。相比之下,古希腊的斯巴达同性情人军团在保家卫国方面创下了丰功伟绩,在这种环境下,同性恋受到社会的宽待以至赞美,可谓实至名归。

从文明发展上看,同性恋在中国受到压制是中华民族百年悲剧的一部份。康乾盛世时,中国国力十分可观,但政府没有把注意力放到对外交流,学习别国的先进思想和科学技术上,而是故步自封,耗费大量的精力来维持过时的礼教,同性恋也成为他们政治短见的受害者。当政者失策而酿成的大祸泱及了整个中华民族,使中国一再落后于历史的前进车轮。类似于日本历史上的明治维新未能在华夏大地出现,洋炮轰鸣下姗姗来迟的戊戌变法也不幸胎死腹中(当时康有为提出的婚姻法包括同性婚姻合法化的内容)。五四运动提倡向西方学习,但同性恋研究方面却拾来了病态说的牙慧,而西方于五十年代兴起的同性恋正常性和健康性研究以及后来的平反政策,却因学术交流的中断而未能及时吸收,使同性恋至今在中国仍然被列为病态。与此同时,源于基督教文明的“同性恋恐惧症”也随之而来,正好与”三纲五常”合拍。于是乎,落后医学和过时道德对于同性恋的双重压制,而今却成了“中国特色”。

一个没有信心的虚弱社会,总是首先想到控制民众的言行,包括控制他们的性行为。清朝立法禁止同性恋的举动,表明了统治者缺乏自信,也预示了以后的国势衰落。而当今改革开放后,中国重新认识同性恋的努力也表明了社会的进步。在敦促社会了解和理解同性恋的同时,作为同志的我们也应该学习和借鉴前人,在勇敢地追求爱情的同时,探索出一条能让同志生活方式长期生存的道路。

明代“男风”昌盛,很多帝王将相也有此雅兴。

明代的男风也是很盛的。男风、性小说、春宫画的流行,是明代性风尚三个最突出的方面。

一、帝王的男风

明代皇帝好男风的很多,和汉代有些相仿。其中明武宗朱厚照是很突出的一个。

他是一个荒淫无道的皇帝,对一切政务都没有兴趣,但对射箭、骑狩与曲乐十分喜欢,也懂梵文。他对一些年少英俊的官吏非常宠幸,有一次甚至在宫中封了120个青年作为他的“义子”,赐姓朱。他在南巡的时候,因为喜欢一个歌童,侍宦以为武宗要纳他入宫,于是将这个不幸的歌童阉了。

清代毛奇龄的《明武宗外记》有这么一段描述:宫中六局者,有尚寝者,司上寝处事,而文书房内官,每记上幸宿所在及所幸宫嫔年月,以俟稽考;上悉令除却省记注,掣去尚寝诸所司事,遂遍游宫中,日率小黄门为抵蹋麹之戏,随所驻辄饮宿不返,其入中宫及东西两宫,月不过四五日。

以上记载了明武宗和后妃同寝,一个月不过四五天,其它时间都和宫廷中的小太监在一起玩,流连往返,由此可知其性兴趣。他最宠幸的男子有江彬、写亦虎仙、钱宁等。他常在“豹房”进行同性恋活动,不理政事。“帝在豹房常醉枕宁卧,百官候朝至晡,莫得帝,起居密伺宁,宁来则知驾将出矣。”明武宗常以太监钱宁的身体为枕,这是多么亲密的关系。百官老见不到皇帝,就以钱宁的行踪来判断皇帝的行踪,这又是多么荒谬!

明武宗因沉溺酒色在31岁时就死了,继位的是万历帝朱翊钧,前面说过,他也是历史上一个著名的荒淫无道的皇帝,他也好男风。《枣林杂俎》说:神宗幸爱小珰、孙海、客用等,夜游别宫。在万历十七年以后,就耽觞酌十昼十夜,宠“十勘,即十个俊美的小太监。《万历野获篇》云:今上壬午癸未以后,选垂髫内臣之慧且丽者十余曹,给事御前,或承恩与上同卧起,内廷皆目之为十浚其时又有一缇帅,为穆庙初元元宰之曾孙,年少美丰姿,扈上驾宰天寿山,中途递顿,亦荷董圣卿之宠,每为同官讪笑,辄惭恧避去。

以上所述的“董圣卿”就是指和汉哀帝有“断袖”之交的董贤。

明熹宗朱由校也是搞同性恋的。他征美妓于不夜宫,征召娈童于长春院。而这些女院(娼寮)与男院(娈童居所),就分别处于北京城中的花柳街与胡同巷。明熹宗就把这些美妓、娈童置于宫中自己设的女院及男院,时常行乐其中,其中美妓赛施与娈童少弥,都蒙皇上的宠幸,每有游宴,则使宠妃姣童傅粉施朱,女衣男服,男衣女服,而交戏于前为乐。

除了皇帝以外,当时一些贵族、大臣也好男风,例如明世宗时的权臣严嵩和儿子严世蕃就好男风,《五杂俎》就提到严嵩的家人永年,号鹤坡,有后庭之宠。他“招权纳贿,与朝绅往来,无不称鹤翁者”,有个御史甚至于还和他结拜兄弟。蒋瑞藻所编的《小说考证》中说到严嵩的儿子严世蕃热恋一个名叫金凤的优童,即少年演员,“昼非金不食,夜非金不寝”。以后金色衰而贫困,不演戏了。严家破败以后,金凤又重新演戏,扮演严世蕃,演得维妙维肖。

当时,如果有人犯罪,其家中的女性会被卖为娼,男孩则被卖为被人玩弄的娈童。严嵩和严世蕃每陷仇家,就把仇家的男孩夺来作为娈童,百般侮辱,进行性虐待。后来严家事败,他们的后代也被仇家所纳,而流入倡业。

二、社会上的男风

在明代,尤其是明朝后期,同性恋在社会上已很普遍。当时不少有名的学者及士人,都是有名的“分桃之士”。他们除了妻妾外,还有年少俊美的书童,这些书童除伴主人出外或远游,往往也是主人的性伴侣。

当时,把同性间的性关系称为“外交”,把男子与妻妾的性行为称为“内交”。

不少士人和士人之间都有“外交”行为。如清人钮琇的《觚賸》中就提到明代书生吴生和姜郎相好,比一般伉俪的感情还要亲密。可是,他们却被一李姓巨公所拆散,并且把姜郎带到北方。吴生不愿离开姜郎,也克服了许多困难赶到北京,而其他朋友也捐助吴生此行,促成他们俩的会面。这种真挚的感情,也是世间少有。

当时社会上这股男风,在明武宗时最盛,可以说上自天子,下到庶民,几乎都有两男相悦的关系。《暖姝由笔》云:明正德初,内臣最为宠狎者,入“老儿当”犹等辈也,皆选年少俊秀内臣为之,明官吏、儒生乃至流寇市儿皆好男色。

那么为什么男风在明代会这么兴盛呢?唯性史观斋主解释说:“明代立国,崇尚酷刑峻法,罪至流徒,则妻孥子女皆没入官,女的成为娼妓,男则成为‘贱民’;比较面目姣好的,则拨充一些权贵之家作为厮役奴隶,或是由这些权贵家庭出资竞投,因为他们本身的自由已被剥夺,而且一切皆隶属于主人,对主人的命令是不能抗拒的,也就可以随便将他们加以享乐。……每逢一次大狱兴起,往往也就是购买娈童的机会。”

以上论述,似只说明了当时达官、贵族的喜好男色有一些有利条件,至于更广泛的社会原因,谢肇浙在《五杂俎》中指出:“衣冠格于文网,龙阳之禁,宽于狭邪,士庶困于阿堵,断袖之费,杀于缠头,河东之吼,每末减于敝轩,桑中之约,遂难偕于倚玉,此男宠之所以日盛也。”这说明了三个原因:一是嫖男人和当时的法律没有抵触;二是嫖妓女要花较多的钱,并非一般儒生所能承担;三是男人之间的亲密行为,妻子往往不加追究,有时也无权过问。这样,男风就普及起来了。

在明代,男妓馆相继开设,此风至清不衰。“据说正德年间,北京已有男院之设,悬‘长春院’匾额;而女妓居所,则称‘不夜宫’——盖取意于苏东坡诗:‘风花竞入长春院,灯烛交辉不夜城’。美妓娈童相竟秀,互以夺贵显狎客为能,娈童之名皆冠以‘少’字,而明熹宗尝微行其间。”这就是当时社会上性环境的一幅图画。

当然,同性恋不只是男性,女同性恋者也有,但历史上记载不多,只能从一些文学作品上了解一些情况。明末清初李渔所著《怜香伴》中的崔笺云和曹语花等,都明显地表现出女同性恋的关系。都不仅有女同性恋的叙述,还有女性对女性施行性虐待的情节,应该说,这是当时社会风情的反映。

三、福建男风特盛

根据许多史籍和笔记的描述,
福建是明代男同性恋比较公开与普遍的地区。当时,福建海运很盛,去菲列宾、台湾、日本等地通商的很多,而航海的人都相信,船上不能有女人,否则船会出事,这样,长期在海上的人就以同性恋作为性发泄。

明代沈德符的《敝帚斋余谈》云:

近乃有称契儿者,则壮夫好淫,辄以多金娶姿首韶秀者,与沟衾裯之好,以父自居,列诸少年于小舍,最为乱逆之尤。闻其事肇于海寇云,大海禁妇人在师中,有之辄遭覆溺,故以男宠代之,而尊豪刚遂称“契父”。

“契”这个字,在福建就是指男性间的性关系。中国传统的同性恋的关系,当要受社会承认时,就要举行一种“契”的仪式,建立“契父”和“契儿”、“契兄”和“契弟”等关系,在福建地区,这类关系很多,它和广东孤婆庄的妈祖阶层,都是中国传统的同性恋关系的表现。中国人受儒家思想影响很深,十分重视家庭关系和家庭形式,所以同性恋关系也要以父子、兄弟、姊妹相称。《敝帚斋余谈》中进一步提到这个问题说:闽人酷重男色,无论贵贱,各以其类相结,长者为“契兄”,少者为“契弟”。

其兄入弟家,弟之父母抚爱如婿,弟日后生计及娶妻诸费,俱取办于“契兄”,其相爱者,年过而立者,尚寝处如伉俪。

这种“契兄”、“契弟”的关系,不但为当时当地的道德、法律、风俗、习惯所认可,而且权利、义务关系也很明确,这就是“契兄”受到“契弟”父母的爱护和尊敬,像他们的女婿一样,而当“契弟”到了一定年龄要与女子结婚时,“契兄”就要在财力上予以支持。

当时福建地区男风之盛行也有一些特殊原因,一是地处偏僻,贫民多以淫业为生,例如当地的剃头师傅也兼经营变相男倡,并利用学徒为业。清代谢章的《赌棋山庄笔记》云:“福清之渔溪,孔道也,而风俗极靡,丛剃发者,辄蓄成童以下,教以按摩。客至,进献其技,倚人身作忸怩态,其龌龊贪婪最甚,真恶习也。而流妓亦鲜佳者,且年多在三十以外。墙壁或题句云:老阴与少阳,乱掷金钱卜。”

当时,福建还有一个“贱民”阶层,叫蜁民。“传蜁民为南方夷也,从前闽省乃乌诸国,到汉人进闽,他们战败无处可归,相卒入水。或云为蒙古民族,南迁闽、粤二省,元朝时甚有势力,元初宗族子弟同帝至闽不归而留,到处横行。元亡,失势,闽人屡战屡败,至驱迫落水,习操水上。”这些蜁民被视为奴、优、隶、卒一类的下贱人,他们生活在船上,夜晚不行驶时,男的做男妓,女的做妓女,对此也不以为耻。

所以,男风表面上看是一种社会风气,但“淫风”从何而来?其中有许多深刻的政治、经济、社会、文化原因,它甚至和阶级压迫、民族压迫连结在一起。

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一月 2nd, 2014 at 11:51 上午

America’s first legal gigolo leaves rural brothel

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【2010.03.26  By OSKAR GARCIA
America’s first legal male prostitute has left a rural Nevada brothel after a two-month stint that generated plenty of attention but fewer than 10 paying customers.
LAS VEGAS —
America’s first legal male prostitute has left a rural Nevada brothel after a two-month stint that generated plenty of attention but fewer than 10 paying customers.

Brothel owner Jim Davis said Friday the Shady Lady Ranch had parted ways with the “prostitude” who worked under the name Markus.

A replacement has been hired, but Davis hinted it was possible that Markus, a 25-year-old Alabama native, could be back.

“I don’t know, he hasn’t told us yet,” Davis said.

The tiny yellow brothel is 150 miles northwest of Las Vegas.

Markus, who like other sex workers has asked that his real name not be used, didn’t immediately respond to an e-mail message seeking comment.

He remained listed under the name “Markus Destin” by adult talent agency OC Modeling.

Bobbi Davis, who co-owns the brothel with her husband and runs it as its madam, told the Las Vegas Review-Journal the departure of Markus was a mutual decision.

She said the brothel would keep employing men to have sex with women, including its latest hire, a Las Vegas man in his mid-30s who works under the name Y. Not and has had about 10 customers.

The focus of the business, however, will remain on women prostitutes serving men, she said.

Male companions were “never the main course,” she said. “We’re going to try it for a while longer.”

The Shady Lady Ranch created a stir in Nevada’s brothel industry when it successfully won state and county approval to hire a male sex worker.

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After hiring Markus, the Davises cut him off from speaking with reporters after his first two interviews, in which he compared himself with Rosa Parks and Mahatma Gandhi.

Markus was the subject of a first-person story by the New York Post after a female reporter hired him but said they did not have sex.

(This version CORRECTS Corrects spelling of Gandhi.)

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一月 2nd, 2014 at 11:39 上午

Exclusive: Meet America’s First Legal Male Prostitute

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【2010.01.13】

Today, a 25 year old from Los Angeles (by way of Alabama) will become the first legal male prostitute in this country’s history. “Markus” (his working name) was fresh off the Greyhound bus yesterday when he granted Details an exclusive first interview in a cottage at the Shady Lady Ranch brothel, two-and-a-half-hours northwest of Las Vegas. His story is about to become a national sensation. Read on to find out why.

SW-62

Q: So you’d rather be called a gigolo than a prostitute.
A: I think for a male, if you want to be successful in this type of venture, you’re not a prostitute. You’re a surrogate lover. You encompass everything that’s required of you—not only emotionally, physically—but psychologically. Because women are wired differently. They’re much more sensitive creatures. You actually have to enjoy what you do. You can’t necessarily say, “Oh, it’s just a job.” You actually have to say it’s a passion. I think it’s the same situation as with anything that happens when you break apart a social institution. There has to be some kind of change in terminology to describe persons like myself. And it’s more of a civil rights thing now. Basically this is the first time in the economy of the United States that a male has actually stood up and said, “I want to do this for a living.” And be protected under law to do it. It’s just the same as when Rosa Parks decided to sit at the front instead of the back. She was proclaiming her rights as a disadvantaged, African-American older woman. And I’m doing the same. I’m actually standing up now, and hopefully I can be supported by the male community and be understood as a person. This actually isn’t about selling my body. This is about changing social norms.

Q: And how is it that you became the first legal gigolo in this country?
A: When I was 7, my father and mother applied for a divorce, and I was pretty much left sensory deprived for my whole adolescent and formative years. There was a deficit there—a sensory deficit—where I was left in a shell. There wasn’t anything sexual about it. It was more, like, caresses—maybe a kiss on the cheek or a hug. Psychologists say a child should be hugged at least, you know, two or three times a day for him to be a functional human being. Then, once I reached adulthood, I didn’t have any sexual relationships. So naturally, when someone is in the psychological state that I’m in, I don’t think of it as a disadvantage. I think it’s more of a prerequisite for what I’m fixin’ to do. You’re striving to make up for lost time, basically. You’re trying to remake the things that you were missing out on as a young adult. Psychologically, Freud always said that every man inherently has an innate desire to copulate or have some sort of relation with his mother—regardless of whether he wants to admit it or not. I think this engenders what it means to be a gigolo. A gigolo is looking for a surrogate mother. And basically he’s filling the need for someone, but at the same time, he’s getting the respect and the compassion that he missed from an earlier developmental deficit.

 

Q: Are there other things that qualify you for the job?
A: I’ve been in the adult industry—I’ve only done a couple of scenes, but I realize it’s very cold and calculated. What I experienced was that the male was just a prop—nothing more, nothing less. In the porn world, they say it’s like a menu: BJ, double penetration—that’s prostitution. That’s not feeling affection or love. People say the adult industry is failing. It’s not failing—it’s stagnant. No one’s really being progressive. I view myself as an artist, a performer. It’s a craft, and it has to be learned. In porn, they have to have these degrading acts. I consider myself a classier person than going below myself to do that. This is much different. It’s closer and more personal. Whichever woman may walk through the door, she’s appreciated. A surrogate lover will love that woman for a whole hour, or however much we charge here [$200 for 40 minutes], and she’ll leave feeling much more empowered, and much more confident in herself. I’m an equal opportunity employer. I don’t discriminate based on race, color, creed, ethnicity, or skin tone. Notice I left gender out. That’s for a reason.

Q: Why? Will you have a women-only policy?
A: I think gay people are very put-together. I think they’re very classy, very well-organized people. They have great personalities. I have nothing against them, but that’s not me. And as the first male that’s entering this field legally in the entire United States, I’d like to assert my rights and say that I can sit here and have a decent conversation, but I draw the line at that. In the adult industry they said, “Well you’re not going to make enough money. The equation’s already set—you have to go gay for pay if you want to make the big bucks.” So, that’s prostitution, in my opinion. That’s disrespect to the artist. My sphincter isn’t for sale. But what is for sale is companionship—total appreciation for whoever walks through that door. I’m not saying I’m special. I’m not saying that I’m better than anyone, but I’m definitely unique. And I think it’s a good thing.

Q: How are you unique?
A: There’s five things I think that separate a gigolo from the average man: number one being the psychological profile—how he was raised, his upbringing, his thought, his morality, what he views as right and wrong. He must have the heart of a saint, the mind of a philosopher, and the skills of the devil—that’s the second qualification. The third one is I never refer to any woman as a bitch, ho, twat, cunt, or any of those terms. It offends me. Women don’t pay for sex, they pay for experience. And luckily for me, I don’t have that much experience with sex, but I have the mentality and the emotion and gumption to make them feel the way they want to feel. And if I complete that through sex, too—which I’m a very good performer in that respect, too—my mission’s accomplished. The fourth thing that separates a gigolo is a gigolo knows how to cook, clean, and do the things necessary to upkeep himself. He’s totally independent. He can cook a 3-course meal, and at the same time, serve wine.

 

Q: Where did you get those five rules? Are those just things you came up with or did you read them somewhere?
A: That’s my charter. It has to be developed because if anyone else is going to do this, they’re going to have to have a charter set up. I knew if this was going to be a viable business, you have to have a level of discipline. I think that a gigolo should have no relations outside of the brothel because it’s his playground. Through engaging with a female, he’s actually rewarding himself in a way he’s never been rewarded before. It’s a very beautiful, almost holy experience. I’m changing the way people think. I’m not college-educated, but I’m well-read. That’s the fifth thing that a gigolo must have. He must be literate, he must have a sense of honor and dignity to himself. He should just be an all-around good guy.

Q: Where did you write your charter?
A: I memorized it. I think the charter lays out what can actually be accomplished. Because this is going to be a tough job—don’t get me wrong. There’s going to be times where there’s an ugly woman—ugly physically—but there’s going to be something inside of her that has to be released, and if I can release it through sexual activity or just conversation and companionship, that’s what I have to do.

Q: How did you come to Nevada?
A: I left L.A. because there was really nothing there for me. Everyone was so set in their ways. I just wasn’t getting enough work through the adult industry. I came across the Shady Lady article, and I decided that this would be the best choice for me. It would actually utilize me and actually train me, so if I actually do get called up for another film, I’ll be much more inclined and very much more experienced.

Q: How did you get involved in the adult industry?
A: Well, I’ve only been involved in two films, but I really didn’t like it. I’m an artist. They try to reinvent it, but I think it just comes down to the fact that people aren’t passionate about it anymore, so the market suffers. I don’t think it has anything to do with the economy. It has to do with there’s no more passion involved.

Q: How long ago did you do your first film?
A: About a month ago.

Q: Oh, so you’re relatively new to all this.
A: Yeah, I’m relatively new and see, like I said, it’s so set over there, they wouldn’t even give me the chance. You couldn’t even set foot inside the door. I’m from the same background as Larry Flynt. Larry Flynt was from the backhills of Kentucky. He wasn’t a city boy. He wasn’t a rich, high-class friggin’ has-it-all type of guy. He was actually a fuckin’ chicken farmer. That’s where I come from. That’s my heritage.

 

Q: Where are you from?
A: I’m from Alabama, sir. I’m from the great county of Lawrence.

Q: What city?
A: I don’t really want to divulge that because then people back in my hometown are going to be like, “Oh my God…”

Q: When did you leave?
A: Well, I joined the military because I have a sense of adventure. I’m a very adventure-oriented person.

Q: How long were you in the military?
A: I was in it for 2 years but I got in trouble. I don’t really want to get into it.

Q: Did you get deployed?
A: Uh, no. Was supposed to, but I didn’t want to go. So because it was on a voluntary basis, I was like, “I’m gettin’ out.” It was the Marine Corps. The thrillers and killers. I was about 21 when I joined. I’m 25 now.

Q: How’d you get out of it?
A: I just didn’t want to go. I told my commanding officer I didn’t want to be a Marine anymore and he was like, ‘Okay, we’ll file your paperwork.” I didn’t get benefits or anything, but I got out.

Q: Did you get an honorable discharge?
A: No, I got “other than honorable.” It’s middle ground. But it’s not like I failed. I kind of screwed up—I don’t want to divulge anymore.

Q: Where’d you go after that?
A: I went back home to Alabama. There wasn’t much goin’ on there. I went back, grandma and grandpa were still living next to us, Daddy was still working at the paper mill. I knew as soon as I got back there wasn’t any opportunity there.

Q: What were you doing before the military?
A: I was going to college at the University of North Alabama. I studied political science with international relations. I just got sick of college life. That wasn’t for me.

Q: Does your father know you’re out here?
A: Well, yeah, but he doesn’t know what’s going on down here. I don’t know if he’ll be surprised, disappointed, angry, upset, proud, or—I don’t really know. But that’s my choice, you know? It doesn’t bother me. What I’m doing is perfectly normal.

Q: How’d you decide on California?
A: Because I was reading a book—How To Make Love Like a Porn Star by Jenna Jameson. Yeah, I was reading that book and I thought, “Hey, I want to do that. I’m a talented that way. I can hack that.” And here I am. It’s funny how things work out.

Q: How’d you get to California from Alabama?
A: I drove my car. A ’98 Honda Civic. I was literally living out of the back of my car. I went to food drives and stuff to get food. It was very depressing, because I was like, ‘What the hell have I got myself into?’ I was literally a starving artist in the truest sense of the word.

 

Q: Did you try finding work in something other than the adult film industry?
A: I tried applying for anything from waiter to car washer to any of these menial odd jobs, and felt like I was really wasting talent and time on it. I felt that my youth was being wasted.

Q: Did you get any of those jobs?
A: Nope. It’s just the economy. The economy sucks. So I ended up in a homeless shelter in the Santa Monica area.

Q: So how did you first get involved—did you meet someone who already was a gigolo or something?
A: No, no. It didn’t happen that way. I was on the Internet, and there was this expose about how this would actually be the first legal male prostitute in the United States and they were hiring. So I decided, hey, I’ll apply for it. I was in California and saw that this place was accepting applications.

Q: So tomorrow you go to get formally registered in the state—the country’s first legal gigolo. All the camera crews are coming. You nervous?
A: Yeah. I think we’re stirring the hornets’ nest with this. I need a cigarette. I don’t smoke, but I need a cigarette. Hey, you don’t have a lighter do you?

 

 

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一月 2nd, 2014 at 11:37 上午

My night with a prosti-dude

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【2010.02.02  By Mandy Stadtmiller】

 

Who would hire the first legal male hooker in the country?
A desperate spinster? A lonely divorcee? A New York Post reporter on undercover assignment?
Answer: All of the above. This month, as Nevada anointed the country’s first-ever legal male prostitute — in the form of “Markus,” a 25-year-old beefy ex-Marine — it became incredibly clear that one thing had to happen immediately.
The Post had to have a go at this gigolo.
SEE THE PHOTOS
A $500 cash advance, an overnight flight to Vegas and a 2 1/2-hour car ride later, I arrive at the brothel. I’m sweaty, stinky and pumped from listening to “lite-romance” radio. Because truly: Nothing gets you in the mood for a legal male hooker like “Wind Beneath My Wings.”
At 3 p.m., I arrive at the appropriately titled Shady Lady Ranch for my two-hour booking (Prices: $200 for 40 minutes, $300 for one hour. And sorry, ladies — he can’t go back to back “because he puts so much into it”).
The scene: mostly dust, sunlight and sadness. That, and the occasional sign about the importance of using latex condoms.
“Markus” (real name: Patrick) greets me in glasses, a satin blue shirt and slacks, and leads me to a bedroom where we sit opposite each other as I fumble for the cash out of my “Precious Moments” pocketbook.
“First thing we do is visual inspection,” explains the dorky college dropout who later confesses I am only his second client, he has been with a total of six women in his life, and, to be perfectly honest, he lost his virginity at 23.
“So,” Markus says after leaning over and kissing my knee, “we’re going to get undressed and then take a shower. Then we can both inspect each other to make sure there are no discrepancies.”
Minutes later, as we’re standing naked in the shower, he’s examining me like a second-rate gynecologist and nodding.
“Yeah,” he murmurs, cooing that I’m “practically” an 8 or a 9. “Everything looks great down there.”
Oh. My. God.
Over the next two hours, Markus shares his personal bits, too. Originally from Hatton, Ala., he felt abandoned by his mother after his parents divorced at an early age. (This is why, he says, he got into male prostitution, to find the intimacy that he lacked.)
In addition to comparing himself to civil rights pioneer Rosa Parks (“I’m breaking through sexual segregation”), he also identifies with Lady Gaga (“I’m a performer”), van Gogh (“I’m an artist”) and Moby (“I’m an eccentric”). Before becoming America’s first legal “prosti-dude,” Markus dabbled in porn while he lived in Los Angeles but quit after just two scenes because he found it too degrading to women.
Also, he was homeless for a few months before he learned about this fantastic opportunity to become a sex-worker pioneer at Shady Lady.
To explain my visit, I tell him I don’t have much luck with men, watch a lot of porn, want to learn more and would be delighted if he simply “put on a show” for me.
Now, to answer the question on your mind: No. I did not sleep with him.
It was like a bad second date. That cost $500.
“You have a beautiful body,” he tells me. He kisses my back. “You even taste good,” he says. Then he brings out his little “trick box,” as he calls it, but such is his luck today, he can’t find the lubricant he says is crackerjack for making women climax.
Not so fast, Markus.
“Why don’t you give me a massage?” I say.
He says he’s never had an STD and doesn’t worry about getting women pregnant (“because you can feel it when a condom breaks”). He repeatedly asks to show me his abilities and flicks out his scarily Gene Simmons-esque tongue which totally turns me off. Who wants a man this eager?
“I’m not a hooker,” he says repeatedly. “I’m a surrogate lover.”
While Merril Bainbridge’s “When I Kiss Your Mouth” plays embarrassingly in the background (I did not make out with him), we’re interrupted by the sound of an occasional honk from a peacock roaming outside and, from the lobby, the intermittent sounds of giggling female hookers.
His recently shaved body is quite fit (he works out daily at the brothel, where he lives) and covered in tattoos, including a Chinese character meaning “to seek.” He is 5-foot-9, and, um, very well-endowed.
I have so many questions. “Do you use Viagra?”
“No Viagra,” he says. “No Enzyte.” And he says he doesn’t date outside of work. “I won’t be able to perform.”
When I ask Markus why he waited so long to have sex (remember: he lost it at 23), he says it’s because “no one wanted me.”
How funny, I observe, that he became a male prostitute.
“I think there was a definite plan,” he says.
“Like . . . ?” I ask. Yes, he says. Like a divine plan. Destiny.
In case it ever comes up, Markus says he’s learned much of his sexual technique from the “Karma Sutra,” and the reason he’s such a good lover is because he was “sensory deprived” by his mother.
“I’ve healed people,” he says of his lovemaking ability, which most recently included his first client — a 45-year-old woman who hadn’t been laid in two years and in Markus’ words “was wild as a bug.”
He also loves cooking French cuisine. Favorite meal: chicken cordon bleu.
“I love being caressed,” he says.
“You know that Chris Rock joke,” I ask him, “about how all a father wants to do is keep his daughter off the pole? You’re like the male equivalent. All a mom wants to do is keep her kid from becoming a gigolo.”
He laughs. He reveals his fantasy that he would love to be roughed up by a lady cop with her baton. In the hot tub, he says he likes to be spanked and told he’s a bad little boy.
At some point, for comedic effect, I say, “Come to mama.”
“I don’t believe in therapy,” he says as he holds my hand in the red heart-shaped whirlpool while he lights the vanilla candles around us. “I think this is therapy.”
I ask him again about the Viagra. Because . . . surely?
“No,” he says. “I just have to have attention, you know.
“Touch me all you want,” he continues. “You’re not getting the full experience, I’m telling you.”
As romantic as that sounds, I tell him how much it turns me on to hear about something romantic. He looks genuinely befuddled. “Let me think,” he says. “Like what, like being on a horse ranch?”
He tells me that if you can “pronunciate” words well, it means you are great at pleasuring a woman.
He’s half Irish, a quarter Native American, a quarter Scandinavian and all lover. Favorite book: “1984.” Favorite movie: “Braveheart.” Actor he’s like: “Steve-O.” Musician he’s like: “Moby,” or — wait for it — “Choppin” (meaning Chopin).
“The concept of beauty has changed over the years,” he continues. “It’s like the cave paintings. Venus de Milo. It used to be the voluptuous woman,” he says as he eyes me up and down.
Hold up, hold up. “Did you just call me fat?” I ask.
Then he asks me to spank him.
“Maybe you should go to a dominatrix psychologist?” I helpfully suggest. “No,” he says. “I’m in paradise.”
After a long talk, a massage and his repeated pleadings to caress him, the two hours are up (he went 10 minutes over but still wanted to give me another massage so I had to call time) and the session ends.
As he escorts me outside, he just wants to know: Did he satisfy me?
“Uh,” I say, “yeah. Sure.”
Markus starts to walk me to my car and an older man — Jim Davis, the madam’s husband — stops him. “You got your stuff to do,” he reminds him.
Markus has taught me so much. About what a gigolo should never, ever, ever do. “Women don’t want sex so much as companionship,” he concludes. “Women can be a prostitute. But not men.”
Sure, Markus.
Whatever gets you through the night.
mstadtmiller @nypost.com

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一月 2nd, 2014 at 11:33 上午

First legal U.S. gigolo starts work in Nevada

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【2010.01.22 】
SW-62

BEATTY, Nev. (AP) — A brothel in a Nevada desert town has hired the state’s first male prostitute, a muscular college dropout who abandoned a brief stint as a porn actor in Los Angeles to become the only legal gigolo in the United States.
The Shady Lady Ranch successfully won state and county approval to clear the way for the “prostidude,” as Nevada’s newest sex worker is already being called. After a slow first week on the job, his first appointments are scheduled for this weekend.

The male prostitute — known as “Markus” — has quickly become the center of attention in Nevada’s brothel industry.

He has been criticized by female counterparts for not being willing to have sex with men. And he created a dustup after telling Details magazine that his pioneering role in the sex business was “just the same” as civil rights icon Rosa Parks refusing to give up her seat and move to the back of the bus during racial segregation in the U.S. South. Since those remarks, he has been forbidden from doing interviews.

Prostitution is illegal in nearly all of the United States but is legal in parts of the western state of Nevada, though not in its most famous city, Las Vegas.

Competing brothel owners fret that hiring gigolos in Nevada will bring unwanted scrutiny from state officials, potentially tempting them to make prostitution illegal. The competitors have also expressed concerns about sexually transmitted diseases, and worry that female customers can’t be inspected as carefully as men are before sex.

Markus, 25, described himself as a well-read college dropout and former U.S. Marine from Alabama. He said he drove to Los Angeles to become a porn actor and left after filming two scenes, the first about a month ago. He said he ended up in a homeless shelter near Santa Monica, Calif., after being unable to find another job.

Shady Lady madam Bobbi Davis picked him from about 10 potential hires culled from hundreds of applications, many featuring crude inquiries, according to her husband and co-owner, Jim. Part of Markus’ appeal was that he was not afraid to deal with heavy publicity.

“Whichever woman may walk through that door, she’s appreciated,” Markus said in his Details interview. “A surrogate lover will love that woman for a whole hour, or however much we charge here, and she’ll leave feeling much more empowered and much more confident in herself.”

Jim Davis told the Associated Press that after reading the article, he and his wife decided that Markus doing interviews was bad for business. Bobbi Davis declined an interview with the AP. The Davises declined to give Markus’ real name, which is a customary practice for sex workers in Nevada.

Davis said the Shady Lady had received dozens of e-mails expressing interest in the gigolo. He said it took years to establish steady business from truckers, salesmen and other travelers after the brothel opened 17 years ago, and getting paying female customers could take at least a month.

“This is a business — if (Bobbi Davis) didn’t think she could make more money, she wouldn’t have done it,” Davis said. “Why else would she start something like this?

“And if she knew what she was getting into, she probably wouldn’t have,” he said.

The yellow-painted Shady Lady compound is more than 30 miles (50 kilometers) north of Beatty — an unincorporated township of fewer than 1,200 people between Las Vegas and Reno.

The small, fenced-in brothel includes a French-themed foyer that displays a pricing menu — $200 for 40 minutes, $300 per hour. It sits on 40 acres of mostly empty land the Davises originally bought for $11,000, Davis said.

Three connected bedrooms are distinctly decorated. One has a heart-shaped hot tub in its bathroom, another has an Asian theme. The brothel’s newest space is a disconnected cottage that looks like a roomy studio, with a kitchenette, a wooden bathtub in the bedroom and armrests on the toilet. The cottage cost $50,000 to build, Davis said.

Markus plans to use the cottage.

“It won’t be successful,” said Arie Mack Moore, owner of the Angel’s Ladies Brothel, just north of Beatty. “You can’t have both (male and female prostitutes) in the same building or adjacent to each other, in my opinion.”

Moore claims his business has picked up since Markus was hired, with customers saying they wanted to avoid the Shady Lady because of Markus.

A 22-year-old prostitute at Angel’s Ladies named “Cuddles” said Markus’ unwillingness to see gay males makes the Shady Lady seem sexist and discriminatory. Her brothel services women.

“How can you just turn down services because of what someone’s preference is? It comes with the territory. It comes with the business,” she said.

Davis said that he and his wife aren’t interested in establishing a gay male clientele, but it will be up to Markus to decide whether to accept men as customers. Davis said Markus told him that he wouldn’t perform for male customers.

“All this gay homophobia in this country is horrible,” Davis said. “Everybody’s so damn scared two men might have sex — it’s happening every day in Las Vegas. Not going to happen here, but that’s all the big fear, is gay people.”

George Flint, a longtime lobbyist for the Nevada Brothel Owners Association, said allowing a male prostitute creates legitimate health concerns. Male customers are thoroughly cleaned and inspected for signs of disease before sex at Nevada’s brothels, and he doesn’t believe the same “fanaticism” is possible when checking female customers.

He also worries about the ramifications for the six other brothels in Nye County and the 24 total in Nevada.

“We got an industry in this state right now that’s got an investment of somewhere between $50 million and $75 million,” Flint said. “And yet Bobbi’s in the catbird seat right now where her antics and her procedures and her demands and her goals could potentially bruise an entire multimillion-dollar-a-year industry.”

Flint said he believed the Shady Lady Ranch, which is not a part of his association, could see a temporary wave of curious female customers, but the experiment will ultimately fail.

“I think she truly believes that it’s a viable effort, and I’m wondering after four or five days and there haven’t been any takers, if she’s beginning to wonder if maybe she was wrong,” Flint said. “You and I and the rest of the world can sit and debate this damn thing until hell freezes over, but if nobody shows up at her front door, what’s it proved?”

Copyright 2010 The Associated Press. All rights reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten or redistributed.

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一月 2nd, 2014 at 11:27 上午

Not all sex workers are victims

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【2010.04.14  By Thierry Schaffauserp】
New laws on prostitution are sexist – being paid for sex does not objectify me any more than working in a low wage job did

On the 1 April 2010, the Policing and Crime Act became effective. We are facing not a feminist measure, but an ideology that sees women as unable to be sexually independent and free of their own actions. Anti-sex-worker laws are sexist. They are essentialist, paternalist and reinforce the division of women.

It is an essentialist conception to consider sex work as always a violence whatever the period, the place, or the conditions. Sex workers are often seen only as women when many men and transsexual people are also working, and women are always seen as victims by essence. All acts of violence against a sex worker are thus analysed as intrinsically the result of sex work itself and not the conditions in which sex work is exercised.

It stops the real violence that exists in the sex industry being visible. We are told that we must stop sex work to avoid this violence. If we refuse, we become accomplices of the patriarchal system. We are accused of being responsible for maintaining an industry that harms women.

Yet bell hooks warned feminists of the dangers of a “shared victimisation” sisterhood. A victim’s status for women reduce them to beings who must be protected. It participates in the denial of their capacities. It denies sex workers the free disposal of our bodies, our self-determination, our capacity to express our sexual consent like children under 16. It reinforces the idea that sex workers are too stupid, lazy, without any skills, and without consciousness of their alienation.

Many anti-sex-workers’ rights activists think that rape is the conditioning to becoming a sex worker. These claims about rape in our childhood or Stockholm syndrome are used to de-legitimate political attempts to be recognised as experts on our lives and to confiscate our voice. How could we say that a victim of rape has lost her capacity to express her consent because she is traumatised for life? We never say that for other people.

Another paternalistic way to deny our voice is to claim that we are manipulated by pimps. It is a common accusation since the beginning of our movement in 1975. This strategy has been used against many groups. For instance women were accused of being manipulated by the church to be deprived their right to vote.

Instead of fighting the “whore stigma”, middle-class feminists prefer to distance themselves from it, and by doing so reinforce it and exclude those who incarnate this identity. This participates in the segregation between women. This may be a form of internalised sexism by other women who think female sex workers give them a bad name. According to some anti-sex-workers’ rights activists, sex workers maintain the idea that men can own women’s bodies. Sex workers are told that they create a sexual pressure on the whole women class.

On the contrary, I think that it is by using expressions such as “selling your body” that we reinforce the idea of sex workers being owned and women as objects, while sex workers try to impose the term the “sale of sexual services” between two adult subjects. How can we talk about the ownership of our bodies when we are on the contrary those who impose their conditions? Isn’t it an excuse not to question their own sexuality?

Being penetrated doesn’t mean that I give my body. Being paid for sex doesn’t make me more of an object than when I was working for the minimum wage. What makes me an object is political discourses that silence me, criminalise my sexual partners against my will, refuse me equal rights as a worker and citizen, and refuse to acknowledge my self-determination and the words I use to describe myself.

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一月 2nd, 2014 at 11:20 上午

Sex workers don’t need to be rescued

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【2009.06.03 】

MAP: Australia
Organisations that capitalise on the suffering of the people they are supposedly helping can learn a great deal from the recent Salvation Army apology, writes Scarlet Alliance president Elena Jeffreys.

“An advertisement has run in the Sydney Telegraph this morning… certainly has offended those working within this particular segment within their community. The very last thing that we would want to do is to distance ourselves from any person in need and so as a direct result we pulled the ad from our public media,” Major Philip Maxwell of the Salvation Army told a horde of media gathered in the Salvation Army cafe on Albion Street, Surry Hills.

Sex workers had spent several hours negotiating for an apology, and had a strong presence at the launch, holding red umbrellas and signs including “Salvo’s Pimping Sex Workers”, “We don’t need to be rescued – We Need RIGHTS”, and my favourite, “Salvo’s = Ugly Mug”.

The offensiveness of the ad comes from the stereotypes and stigma it perpetuates. The ad speaks about a male sex worker who is ‘saved’ by the Salvation Army. The stereotype is simple. Sex workers are victims of an immoral world, the Salvation Army are our liberators. Readers’ first thoughts are “Yes a sex worker is saved by a religious charity, all is right in the world”.

It is always more plausible to understand sex workers as victims than it is to understand us as intelligent, articulate and community-minded.

The proof that stigma and discrimination is so rife is that people will believe and accept an unusually dramatic story over and above the banal day-to-day reality of paying your rent or mortgage through sex work. The bigger insult was that the Salvation Army chose a obscure anecdote (and all the prejudice it embodies) over hundreds of thousands of other examples of sex worker community strength and resilience.

“We don’t believe that it is the case that the majority of sex workers are working in the industry without choice,” Scarlet Alliance CEO Janelle Fawkes told Gemma Snowdon of The Wire last Friday.

“We have a large membership of both organisations and individual sex workers, and we have been in existence since 1989, and our organisation is in fact made up of sex workers.

“So actually what is reflected by our membership, and the sex workers we and our membership interact with on outreach in Australia, is that the majority of sex workers have made a choice to work as sex workers.”

Perhaps the prejudice would have been more obvious in the first instance if it was about homosexuality. If the headline had read “To help Rick with his sexuality, we had to resort to brainwashing” I believe even the newspaper would have had second thoughts about running it.

If the ad had capitalised on community misunderstanding of sexual assault issues in Indigenous communities I hope it would not have been run: “To prevent sexual assault in an Aboriginal community, we had to resort to removing their children”.

Community attitudes have changed in regard to the stolen generation.

The recent advertisement was a sad reminder to sex workers and supporters: we still have a long way to go. The Salvation Army misread what is acceptable regarding sex workers’ portrayal in the media, and they did apologise for it, but it doesn’t change the reality that a committee of people in uniform thought societal unease about sex work a worthwhile brand for their charity.

Sex workers responded: “Just because we are discriminated against doesn’t make it OK to discriminate.”

Generally people seem open to evidence-based, mature and non-hysterical approaches to sex work.

The Scarlet Alliance membership represents a strong community of peer educators, spokespeople and representatives who are more than capable of providing services and support to our own community when in need, and identifying prejudice when we see it.

Tens of thousands of occasions of sex worker peer education are shared within the sex worker community every year. We use condoms for sex. We enjoy good workplaces. However in some states and territories we are not covered by anti-discrimination laws, still criminalised, and subject to misunderstanding and prejudice. On the up-side we have the best occupational health and safety of any sex industry in the world, and we argue strongly for human rights in all possible forums.

Sex workers need solidarity not hand-outs if we are going to keep getting it right in Australia. And there is so much to celebrate. The Salvation Army’s Major Philip Maxwell recognises that as well, and concluded Friday’s media conference thus: “We do have an ongoing relationship as far as working with people of all levels and spheres within life, I confirm that as an ongoing commitment.”

Sex workers look forward to it as well.

International Whores Day is celebrated annually on June 2. In Sydney this includes a protest outside Parliament House, Melbourne and Canberra are having sex worker only social events, and Adelaide commemorates with a public march on June 5.

Elena Jeffreys is the president of the Scarlet Alliance – the Australian Sex Workers Association.

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一月 2nd, 2014 at 11:18 上午

The Hipster Rent Boys Of New York

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【2009.01.27  BY JOE POMPEO】

On a recent Wednesday evening, Robert was with a client in Greenwich Village. It was a first-timer who’d called him a few days earlier to arrange a meeting at a bar on 9th Street so they could speak face-to-face before closing the deal he’d proposed earlier.
When Robert arrived, the man, in his mid-60s and, Robert said, “handsome and fit for his age,” was sipping a martini; Robert ordered a glass of pinot noir. After their drinks were done, he went back to the guy’s apartment, had sex with him and became $360 richer.
“I like it when clients ask me to meet them out somewhere first,” said Robert the following night, when he stopped for coffee at a Bedford Avenue cafe en route to some art openings on the Lower East Side. (He agreed to speak with The Observer on the condition we’d use a pseudonym.) He was wearing tight Uniqlo jeans tucked into Army-issue boots and a vintage plaid button-down fastened to his chest by skinny Marc Jacobs suspenders. “It gives me a chance to be charming,” he continued. “Build up their desire. Get them to want me.”
Robert sounded like a professional letting you in on a bit of strategy. Still, he doesn’t seem like what they call a “pro” on Law & Order. At least if you saw him on the street, you’d probably think he looked like any other hip 23-year-old who moved to Williamsburg because it was cooler than whatever suburb had spawned him. But he is—to use an old British expression that’s currently the preferred terminology for some men who work this job—a rent boy, selling his companionship, sexual or otherwise, for a hefty hourly fee. He’s been escorting more or less full time for about half a year now, making as much as $3,000 a week. Before that he worked in an Apple Store for around $15 an hour.
“I never thought I’d be doing this,” he said, “but it just sort of worked out that it’s actually a lot of fun!”
It’s one of the oldest stories in this city, of course. For many of us in post-Ashley Dupre New York, the word “escort” conjures images of decadent trysts between beautiful women and influential politicians or other members of high society.
Much quieter, and a much smaller sector of the prostitution economy, are the men who fill the same role: charging high rates (though usually not as high as Ms. Dupre) to meet with rich clients, without having to work the streets.
In the minds of many in New York, anonymous (or, in this case, pseudonymous) gay sex in New York hasn’t grown up from its 1970’s roots. Enabled by Craigslist and the back pages of The Village Voice, it perhaps no longer has to involve dour, methed up looking kids strolling the western reaches of the meatpacking district. But there is a distinct aura of extra seediness that alarms readers enough to make big news out of the alleged meth-fueled encounters between disgraced Colorado mega-preacher Rev. Ted Haggard and his whistle-blowing masseur, or Boy George handcuffing a male hustler to the wall of his East London apartment.
Of course rent boys do sometimes find themselves on the sunnier side of pop culture, like when they were portrayed by River Phoenix and Keanu Reeves in My Own Private Idaho, Gus Van Sant’s classic 1991 road movie about the friendship between two male hustlers. Mike Jones got a book deal and an appearance in Deborah Solomon’s New York Times Magazine column after exposing his three-year “professional” relationship with Rev. Haggard. And who could forget Manhattan’s own Jason Preston, the former escort who famously dated Marc Jacobs for two years? Pictured alternately on his MySpace page locking arms with Courtney Love and posing wistfully in a sleeveless Smiths t-shirt that reveals the numerous star tattoos on his arms, you might say the 28-year-old Mr. Preston was the consummate example of what a rent boy can make himself in New York: a fixture on the downtown social and artistic scene.
But for now Robert doesn’t aspire to the party-pictures section of Paper magazine; being a rent boy in this frigid economic climate simply means being able to afford the expensive metropolitan life that many others in more wholesome professions are struggling to sustain.
“The hipster rent boy would be someone who’s smart and has a lot of other things going on, lots of ambitions, but who realizes upon coming here that living the whole New York lifestyle is going to be hugely expensive,” said Sean Van Sant, U.S. CEO of RentBoy.com, a Manhattan-based Web site that connects male escorts worldwide with those seeking their services. Mr. Van Sant is clearly well-versed in this more subtle brand of rent boy: Though a cursory glance of RentBoy.com will reveal no shortage of beefy Playgirl model types (at least one-fifth of which, Mr. Van Sant said, are actually straight; “gay for pay”), his professional surname recalls the maestro of Idaho in which the brooding son of the mayor, played by Mr. Reeves, navigates his way through the social world of hipster hustlers before performing his Prince Hal-style transformation.
“He’s relatively new to New York and has a taste for clothing; wants a better apartment, maybe even a car,” Mr. Van Sant continued. “He realizes it’s gonna take awhile to get ahead in whatever career he wants to get ahead in, especially if it’s acting or fashion or art. And he figures out that he can supplement his lifestyle based on his looks alone.”
This was true for Shy (that’s a nickname he sometimes uses professionally), a 28-year-old shaggy-haired artist who lives in Williamsburg. Shy moved to the city from upstate New York about four years ago to finish his B.F.A. at the School of Visual Arts. After a year of taking classes full time and struggling to cover his $1,100 rent, bills and art supplies with the money he’d make from miscellaneous freelance gigs—set design, photography, etc.—it was time for Plan B.
“When the financial reality became very hard, there was no thinking about it,” said Shy, who answered the phone like he was used to getting calls from random men when a reporter dialed him out of the blue one evening. “It was like, ‘Just do it!’”

Becoming a rent boy seemed like such a no-brainer, Shy said, because as it was, older gentlemen would offer him money for sex whenever he’d cruise chat rooms looking to hook up. Like, good money. $300-an-hour money. Sure, it wasn’t his ideal way of making a living, but what is a starving artist with a few months unpaid back rent and tens of thousands of dollars in student loans to do?
And, whatever Mr. Van Sant may say, it seems logical that on a larger scale that’s where this phenomenon developed. For older, wealthy gay men in New York, used to having a doorman and a housekeeper, a masseur and a personal shopper, the D.I.Y. aesthetic of going out to clubs and bars or trolling Craigslist to find someone who might or might not reject their advances would seem an unnecessary chore.
One day, a benefactor entered the picture, albeit one who was old enough to be Shy’s grandfather. Still struggling to cover his rent and tuition, Shy had posted “a very desperate” Craigslist ad that just laid it all out; something along the lines of—Me: a young man looking for a mutually beneficial situation in which romantic companionship is exchanged for complete financial stability. You: A lonely rich guy.
And it worked. One such individual, a wealthy 70-year-old whom Shy said was prominent in the theater world and New York society, responded to his plea. They met for the first time over dinner at Craftsteak to discuss their new arrangement. Shy would be paid $2,000 each month just to hang out two or three days a week. Score!
Over the next year, Shy’s new friend took him to Broadway shows and fancy dinners. There were expensive shopping excursions and weekend jaunts to L.A. Shy also got $3,000 worth of cosmetic dental work out of the deal. And yes, he became as intimate as it’s possible to become with another person. They also became very close. But, Shy said, the benefactor left town rather suddenly after the economy tanked this past fall, and it was over to RentBoy.com for him.
“Sex work is not something I intend or want to do forever, but it’s a choice I made, and if it comes back to haunt me down the road, I’ll just have to face it and know there’s nothing to be ashamed of,” he said.
It seems like shame is less of a deterrent for sex workers today than it was 20, or even 10 years ago. The sex work industry is becoming increasingly professionalized, at least in so-called “global” cities like New York and L.A., said Sudhir Venkatesh, a sociology professor at Columbia University who’s studied high-end male and female escorts for the past decade. With the rise of the Internet, the professor said, there’s been a “profound shift” in the sex work economy; many escorts have moved indoors with a private client base and can now charge higher rates, even if they’ve had to make some recession-friendly adjustments as of late.
“They look at themselves as providing a personal service and they often even think of themselves as therapists,” said Prof. Venkatesh.
Last summer, Robert met his boyfriend, another Williamsburg artist. (Both had hustled in the past and both are doing it now.) He confirmed that times have changed.
“In New York, it’s not a shameful thing,” the boyfriend, who spoke on condition we didn’t use a name for him, said. He was sitting in a dark bar in east midtown on a recent Friday afternoon sipping a glass of merlot to the sound of pool balls clanking. “It’s really changed in the last five years.”
Robert’s boyfriend first tried hustling “out of curiosity” back when he was 18 and living in Miami, but he said the experience left a bad taste in his mouth—no pun intended. (“Back then I was like, getting blow jobs in the back of a strip mall near my house. Totally seedy!”) Now 26, he’s decided to give the rent boy life a second try. His miscellaneous freelance jobs bartending and doing fashion styling (he has a B.A. in multi-studio arts) weren’t paying the bills. Within 24 hours of creating a profile on RentBoy.com this past October, he got his first client.
“The money’s great, and I’d be lying if I said that wasn’t a part of it,” he said. “But also, as an artist, it provides a lot of material. It gives me access to people’s private spaces and thoughts, and that’s the best part.”
One former rent boy agreed that there’s something to be said for privacy. In fact, after hesitantly agreeing to be interviewed for this article via an anonymous e-mail address, he subsequently declined, writing: “In this totally media-saturated world, I do have the distinct feeling that discretion and secrets are sometimes the mark of an important, and increasingly rare kind of coolness. I’m not getting on my high horse, but I love the idea that there are certain friendships, certain liaisons, certain bars, certain evenings, certain dinner parties, and certain experiences that aren’t on twitter, or email, or gawker, or anywhere else.”
Of course there are obvious downsides to this lifestyle, any rent boy will tell you, like having to deal with the occasional nightmare client. (For Robert’s boyfriend, a prickish wealthy foreigner who twice commissioned his services at The Plaza hotel comes to mind. For Robert, it was the guy who tried to get him to clean his entire Upper East Side apartment and have sex with him for an insulting $50.)
Then there’s the constant reality that one day you might actually get busted. Sienna Baskin, an attorney at the Urban Justice Center’s Sex Workers Project, said there have been recent instances of police targeting individual sex workers on Craig’s List, although indoor escorts are generally targeted less frequently than streetwalkers.
Nor are the police the only potential menace. What if an opportunistic John manages to steal the credit cards from your wallet? What if one day you end up in the apartment of a straight up psycho?
“I’ve seen a lot of instability; people who get depressed or put themselves into dangerous situations,” said Prof. Venkatesh, the Columbia University sociologist.

Courting danger, some rent boys will say, is part of the initial draw to the job.
Way back in 2001, one young man interviewed by The Observer found himself killing time looking at personal ads on the Web (he thinks it was on the Web site gay.com). Life was tough in the way it often is for 20-somethings in New York: income, from waiting tables, had to be squeezed in between five days a week of dance and acting classes. And there it was, sticking out among the “long walks on the beach” and “not into the bar scene” lies: someone who wanted to pay $100 to perform oral sex on a man.
“It was kind of titillating, exciting and…simple,” he said. “In those situations, you’re thrilled and nervous at the same time.”
Sitting in a packed Flatiron District lunch spot on a recent Friday afternoon, and speaking as discreetly as possible so as not to scandalize the middle-aged businessman and peppy 20-something girls he was sandwiched between, he described how six months of being a rent boy at about $250 an hour earned him enough cash to get him back on his feet, financially.
He spent the next few years party-promoting in the East Village and working as a real estate broker on the side. Then, last year, he got into independent film production, racking up a huge personal debt. So he returned to the Life and earned another $30 to $40 grand in six months.
But even though his finances have dictated his forays into the oldest profession, he thinks there’s more to it when someone decides to go the rent-boy route.
“Yes, someone’s situation at whatever present moment he’s at can lead to getting into hustling, but every New Yorker’s in debt, or laid off, and not everyone chooses this as a solution,” he said. “There’s something more psychological and deep as to why you’d go that route.”
That said, he wouldn’t have any qualms about doing it again if he needed the money to fund another project, though he’ll avoid it if he can.
Prof. Venkatesh said that aside from the fact most male escorts work independently while female escorts usually have madams, one of the biggest differences between male and female sex workers is that men have a quicker turnover rate, while women, who generally can charge higher fees (Ashley Dupre was worth more than $4,000 an hour), tend not to go back to “legitimate” employment. Yet sources with ties to the secretive world of high end male escorts said that rent boys who ascend to the topmost ranks of the business can make thousands upon thousands of dollars an hour. At the upper crusts of society, they said, the bulk of compensation is not tendered in currency, but gifts, property, tuition, etc.
As for Robert, he said he doesn’t see himself being a rent boy for all that much longer. Eventually, he said, he wants to work in fashion, which was one of the reasons he came to New York in the first place.
In the meantime, at least he has a job.
“So many people hate their jobs but they need to keep them because they need to make money, and they can’t look for another job in this economy,” he said. “I’m happy that I’m able to make money and be happy at the same time. It’s like, I understand what a hooker is, but the difference between what a hooker is and what I think I am…”
He paused.
“I don’t think I’m a hooker. I guess I don’t really know what I am. A companion? I’m selling my time, my affection. Not my dick.”

 

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一月 2nd, 2014 at 11:16 上午